Disclaimer - Mark, Jesse, Steve, Amanda, et al do not belong to us. Other characters do. Not done for profit etc ...
Dangerous
By Guardian
"I heard he looks like Ricky Martin. And with a body to match."
"No, it's more like George Clooney. You know, when he was in Dusk
till Dawn. He even has the tattoos."
"How would you know so much? You weren't even on duty."
"No, but Maria said
"
Jesse Travis walked past the two nurses and smiled as he overheard
their conversation. It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were
talking about. Nicholas Berwick had been rushed into the ER the previous
day with a deep stab wound to his abdomen. Jesse had first stabilised and
then operated on him and - even as he fought to save the man's life and
up to his elbows in blood - he been unable to help but notice how damned
attractive the man was.
Tall, slim and with a perfectly honed body - which, in spite of the
gossip, was devoid of tattoos - Berwick had the physique of an athlete.
His features were perfectly proportioned and he had soft, wavy, unruly dark
brown hair. Hair that was just begging to have fingers run through it. Jesse
cut that thought off abruptly. He was in the middle of rounds and still
had to look in on Nick Berwick - so he forced his illicit fantasies to the
back of his mind.
Not only was any kind of a relationship with a patient against every
conceivable rule - but he also kept his private life strictly that. He was
not the type to talk openly about his sexuality - though he was pretty sure
that his closest friends had guessed that he was gay - and he successfully
ignored the sometimes spectacular rumours that circulated about him.
*****
Jesse took a deep breath before opening the door of Berwick's room
- mentally chiding himself for his idiocy. Yes, the guy was good looking,
but he wasn't some love-struck teenager. He was a doctor and he had a job
to do.
He smiled as he entered the room, happy to see that his patient was
awake and sitting half propped up in bed. Then his heart flipped over in
his chest as the man smiled back at him.
Get a grip, Travis, he admonished himself, picking up the patient
chart in an effort to hide the effect the man was having on him. Just
because it's been over two years since your last relationship doesn't mean
you've got to lose it with every handsome guy who so much as looks at you.
"You're frowning." A soft voice broke through his ruminations.
"Should I be worried?"
"No, I
" Great. He's even got a sexy voice. That
figures. "I was just
checking over your notes. Did you sleep
alright?" Jesse's professional persona kicked in and he began his examination
- even as the man responded to his question with a nod and a shrug. "Any
pain?"
"Not pain exactly. It pulls a little." Berwick winced as
Jesse checked the site of the wound. "That hurt."
"Sorry." Jesse flashed him an apologetic smile. "As
for the discomfort, well that should pass in a couple of days." He
straightened up. "Now, was there anything you wanted to ask me?"
"Yeah." Sleepy brown eyes focussed on his. "Are all
of the doctors here as gorgeous as you?"
"Wh
What..?" Jesse could scarcely believe what he had
heard and he felt himself beginning to blush.
"I remember seeing you when I was brought in." The intense
gaze never faltered for a moment. "I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."
"I
um, I
" There was nothing that the young doctor
could say in response to such a statement.
"I'm sorry." There was a playfulness to Berwick's expression
that had Jesse blushing all over again. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No, I
" Jesse cursed his inability to formulate a coherent
sentence, but the man was having the most alarming effect on him - and on
his body. "You
you just surprised me
"
"Why? Because you're a guy?" Berwick reached out and snagged
hold of his wrist. "You do like guys, don't you, doc? Tell me I haven't
got that so spectacularly wrong."
"No, I
I mean, yeah
" Stop it, stop it, stop
it! He's a patient. Just tell him you're not interested and get the hell
out! "I like guys," he murmured, ignoring his own conscience.
"That's good." Berwick used his grip on the doctor's wrist
to pull him closer and Jesse didn't even try to resist. "So, do you
have a name or do I just call you 'doc'?"
"I
" Get out! Leave, now! Before you blow your career!
"It's Jesse."
"I'm Nick."
Jesse gave up any pretence of a fight and perched on the edge of the
bed.
"So, Jesse." Nick's thumb gently massaged his wrist. "When
are you gonna let me out of here?"
Jesse let out a startled burst of laughter.
"You almost died yesterday," he informed his patient. "You
were stabbed in the stomach and - at the moment - the only thing stopping
your guts from spilling all over the floor is the twenty-two stitches I
put in."
"Has anyone ever told you you've got a wonderful bedside manner?"
Nick retorted, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Could you have been
any more blunt?"
"I get the feeling that you like blunt." He looked pointedly
at the hand that held his wrist.
"You're right." He gently pulled the doctor even closer.
"There's no need to beat around the bush. Why bother?" Jesse was
drawn closer still. "When you can get straight to the point?"
Their lips met and Jesse felt a thrill of absolute desire course through
him. He opened his mouth, giving in to the invasion of the other man. He
wanted nothing more than to climb into the narrow bed and
Dammit, Travis, you're in public. Anybody could walk in on this.
What then? The thought had the same effect as a bucket of ice water
and he pulled away sharply.
"What's wrong?" Nick looked confused. "I thought that's
what you wanted."
"It is," Jesse couldn't help but respond. "But this
"
He gestured vaguely. "It's not a very good idea."
"Ah, the doctor/patient thing."
"Yeah." There was obvious disappointment in the doctor's
voice. He got to his feet, but Nick caught hold of his hand.
"Where are you going?" He demanded.
"You know, you're not my only patient," Jesse chuckled, softly.
"Then you'll come back?" When Jesse didn't answer immediately,
Nick tightened his grip on his hand. "I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking that you can transfer my care to another doctor and never
come near me again."
Jesse couldn't protest. The man had read him all too easily.
"Well, you know something, doc
Jesse?" Nick's eyes
drilled into the young physician. "I'm not gonna let you do that. You
don't come back - before the day is out - and I'll discharge myself and
come looking for you."
"You can't do that!" Jesse's response was instinctive and
had nothing to do with his personal feelings. "You're still too weak.
If you start walking around now, if you split those stitches
"
He was silenced as Nick brought the hand that he held up to his lips
and kissed it tenderly. "Then say you'll come back."
Jesse finally found the strength to listen to the voice of reason.
Snatching his hand free, he fled without offering him an answer.
*****
A little under an hour later, Jesse found himself back outside Nick's
room - simply unable to stay away. His own reaction puzzled him somewhat.
Nick Berwick just wasn't the type of guy he usually went for. He was too
confident for a start - Jesse's past dates had been more reserved and modest.
And he was way too good looking.
Jesse's own confidence started and ended with his abilities as a doctor.
He was good at his job - he knew that - but he'd never considered himself
to be attractive and his height was definitely a problem. He just couldn't
understand why Berwick had chosen to hit on him.
It's a life-saving thing, he told himself, sardonically. You
put him back together and stitched him up. He's just being grateful.
But his memory of their brief kiss told him otherwise. That kiss had
held more than mere gratitude. Summoning up his courage - and his heart
beating wildly in his chest - Jesse entered the room.
Bitter disappointment rushed up to assail him when he saw that his
patient appeared to be sleeping. Then Berwick opened his eyes and one eyebrow
quirked upwards in surprise when he saw who his visitor was.
"Back so soon?" He murmured, looking at Jesse with smouldering
eyes.
"It's time for your meds." The young doctor had thought that
to be a perfectly viable excuse, but Nick saw straight through it.
"Isn't that usually the nurse's job?" He dutifully swallowed
the painkillers that Jesse handed to him and then offered him a wicked smile.
"I guess it's too much to hope that you take care of the bed baths
too."
Jesse felt himself blushing furiously. It was as though the other man
had read his mind. If only he could have thought of a reasonable excuse,
he would have taken on that task more than willingly. As it was, the nurses
were drawing lots to see who got the enviable task of tending to the gorgeous
Mr. Berwick.
"Tell me." Realising that the young doctor was completely
speechless with embarrassment, Nick continued with his gentle teasing. "Have
you ever made love in one of these beds?"
"No!" Jesse was shocked by the mere suggestion - even though
that very thought had crossed his mind barely an hour earlier. Too late
he realised that he'd made a mistake in returning so soon. Nick's flirting
left him struggling for control and he had an erection that was beginning
to feel distinctly uncomfortable.
"You could lock the door," Nick purred. "Close all of
the blinds."
"I
" Jesse closed his eyes. God, it's been so long.
"I can't
And you're still too weak
The stitches
"
"I won't damage the stitches." The words were spoken on a
sigh as Nick reached out to trail his fingers lazily down the front of Jesse's
pants.
"Don't
" Jesse moaned softly, even as he unconsciously
leaned into the touch.
It would be so easy to lose himself in the delicious sensations that
were threatening to overwhelm him. He was only human, after all, and he
had been deprived of sex - of love - for too long. Then Nick withdrew his
fingers and he was left feeling frustrated and bereft. He almost reached
for the hand. Almost guided it back to where he so wanted it to be.
At the last possible moment, common sense prevailed. He was at the
hospital, tending to a patient - even if he had visited that patient under
false pretences. This was wrong. He backed away, his face reddening.
"I'm sorry," he moaned, biting his lip against his arousal.
"I can't
I just can't
"
"No." Nick regarded him sadly. He hadn't meant to get so
carried away and the last thing he wanted was to scare the young doctor
off for good. "It's me who should apologise. I shouldn't have done
that."
Jesse couldn't answer. He couldn't believe that he had allowed such
a thing to happen - or nearly happen. No matter how much they both wanted
it - and Nick seemed equally keen as he - it was wrong.
He turned, intending to leave that room and never return.
"Don't." Nick's voice stopped him in his tracks. "You
want me and I want you. What can be so wrong in that?"
"There are rules," Jesse answered tightly, still not daring
to face him. Knowing that - if he did - he would be lost.
"Rules were only ever made to be broken," Nick answered,
seductively. "Lock the door and come back to me."
"I can't
"
"What if I weren't a patient?"
"I already told you!" Jesse whirled on him, thinking that
he was again threatening to discharge himself, and furious that he would
consider risking his health for the sake of a fling. "You could do
yourself a permanent injury. You could even die!"
"I'm not gonna be in here forever, Jesse. Will you wait for me?"
The young doctor looked into those pleading eyes and the last of his
resolve melted away completely.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said and there was a promise
in his tone.
*****
The following morning found Jesse, once again, outside Berwick's
room. Only - this time - the trepidation that fluttered in his chest had
nothing to do with his feelings for the other man.
Berwick's face lit up as he entered and he opened his mouth to greet
him. But when he saw the warning in the young doctor's eyes, he closed it
again abruptly. The reason for Jesse's reticence soon became clear as two
men followed him into the room.
"Mr. Berwick." Jesse didn't know how he managed to keep his
voice so steady. "These men are from the LAPD. They'd like to talk
to you."
Introductions made, Jesse made no move to leave the room. He was curious
and more than a little perturbed by the cops who had come to visit his patient.
They had not announced what department they were from and he'd barely had
time to glance at their badges before they'd been swiftly secreted away.
And their attitude towards Berwick was profoundly disturbing.
Officers Dale and O'Connor moved to stand on either side of the bed.
They offered no introductions and their posture was unmistakably intimidating.
"You wanna tell us what happened?" Dale's tone was aggressive
and Jesse's nervousness increased.
"Somebody tried to rob me." Berwick eased himself further
upright. "When I refused to hand over my wallet, he stabbed me."
"And that's exactly how it happened, is it?" O'Connor put
in, with open scepticism. "You weren't, say, arguing with Mel Stratton?
Arguing over money? What is it, Berwick, you been holding out on him?"
"That's not what happened." Berwick cast a quick glance toward
Jesse, who was watching the interrogation with anguished eyes. "Mel
didn't
"
"So you're not denying you know him?"
"Of course I know him," he sighed. "We lived on the
same block. Lots of people know him. That doesn't mean that I'm the same
kind of person he is."
"You argued." Dale took over from his partner. "He got
angry and he sent somebody to teach you a lesson."
"No."
"Stratton never does his own dirty work. He sent one of his thugs
after you. He stabbed you and then took the money that you owed Stratton."
"No."
Jesse took a half-step forwards as he saw his patient begin to grow
agitated, but he held his silence - still trying to process everything that
he was hearing.
"Did you see the face of the man who stabbed you?" O'Connor
was leaning over the bed, threateningly. "What did he look like? How
tall was he? Did he say anything?"
"That's enough!" Jesse had no choice but to step in at that
point. Berwick's breathing was coming in harsh gasps and sweat stood out
on his forehead.
Dale turned and glowered at him, but the doctor in him simply couldn't
allow this to continue. Thankfully, he was too concerned about his patient
to worry about letting his personal feelings show.
"I said you could talk to him." He pushed his way to Berwick's
bedside. "Not attack him like that."
"This is police business
" Dale tried to argue.
"And I'm his doctor," Jesse snapped back. "He came through
major surgery just two days ago and I will not have you compromising his
recovery." He turned his attention back to the injured man. "You
need to calm down," he murmured. "Take slow, even breaths."
He put his stethoscope to Berwick's chest - frowning at the sound of
his accelerated heartbeat - then he glanced back at the cops.
"Doctor
" O'Connor began.
"Get out." Jesse bit down on his anger. "Get out before
I call security and have you thrown out."
Reluctantly and with one final glare at the obdurate young doctor,
the two cops left the room.
"You won't be sick forever, Berwick," O'Connor snarled. "And
believe me, we will be back."
*****
"Thanks."
Berwick's breathing had returned to something resembling normal, but
he was still deathly pale.
"You were in danger of a relapse," Jesse answered softly,
not looking at the other man. "I was just doing my job."
"Jesse
" The doctor was still standing close enough
for him to be able to catch hold of his hand. "Jess, I'm sorry."
Jesse still kept his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. He didn't want
to look at the other man, didn't want to lose himself in those beautiful
brown eyes. Berwick was in trouble with the police and his own best friend
was a cop. He himself had helped out on dozens of cases. He didn't know
how to handle the sudden conflict of interests.
"I should go," he murmured, but made no move to do so.
"Jesse, please. Let me explain."
The young doctor risked a glance towards his patient and saw only sincerity
in his gaze. He sat on the edge of the bed.
"Go ahead," he said, dully, once again lowering his eyes.
"Explain."
"Is there any point?" Berwick sighed heavily. "It seems
like you've judged me already."
Jesse's head snapped up at that remark. He'd never considered himself
to be judgemental, but Berwick was right. He at least deserved the chance
to be heard.
"I
" He wanted to tell him about Steve, about the restaurant
they ran together and about the amount of times he'd actively helped to
solve a case. Instead he merely said: "There's a lot you don't know
about me."
"There's a lot we don't know about each other." Berwick's
hand caressed his. "We've only just met. We've hardly got to the stage
of exchanging life stories. I would have told you everything, eventually."
"Everything about what?" Jesse forced himself to ask - even
though he wasn't at all sure that he wanted to hear the answer. He had -
he suddenly realised - fallen for Nick Berwick in a big way.
It wasn't just about lust or attraction. It was everything about the
man - it was his eyes, his sleepy smile, his gentle teasing. Jesse had always
been sceptical about love at first sight, but now he was forced to re-evaluate
that opinion. The pain in his heart - when he thought that Nick's possible
criminal activities would make it impossible for them to ever have a relationship
- went way beyond the mere fear of loneliness.
"About the past coming back to haunt you." Berwick's voice
cut through his musings. "About paying for your mistakes." This
time it was he who averted his gaze. "I've done things, Jesse, things
that I'm not proud of. And you're such a good man - I knew that the moment
I first met you - I'd understand if you
If you wanted nothing to do
with me."
"Why don't you let me decide that?" Jesse tightened his fingers
around the other man's hand.
"I guess you've heard of Mel Stratton, he's one of the biggest
gangland bosses in LA." At Jesse's curt nod, he continued. "Well,
I used to work for him."
"God," Jesse murmured, horrified by what he was hearing.
"I've never hurt anybody, not physically," Berwick began,
still not looking at the doctor - too afraid of what he might see. "But
I guess
Some of the things I've done
I've hurt people in other
ways. I've intimidated them and I've threatened them. I've made them afraid
to walk the streets, afraid to sleep in their own beds."
"Why?" Jesse breathed, appalled by what he was hearing.
"What can I say?" The other man's voice was broken, haunted.
"That I was young? Easily led? That I got in with a bad crowd? Jesse,
nothing I can say will ever atone for what I've done. There's no excuse
in this world that can justify it."
"But you
" Jesse really didn't want to ask his next
question, but he had to. "You don't do that any more?"
"I haven't done anything like that for a long time." He looked
up at Jesse, his eyes filled with remorse. "But it's so hard to escape.
The past just won't lie down and die. It keeps coming back. Like those cops
today. I've had nothing to do with Stratton for years, but they'll never
believe that."
"So that was the truth then. About the robbery?"
"Not exactly. Those cops were right about one thing. It was Stratton's
thug who stabbed me." Berwick forced himself not to look away as Jesse's
face clouded over. "Hear me out, Jesse, please. It's not the first
time he's had me cut - that's his way of making an example of someone. He
did it to me because I stopped working for him, I walked away. And he always
said that no-one would ever get away from him." He shuddered with remembered
pain. "The first time was almost five years ago. I guess you saw the
scar
"
"You should tell the cops," Jesse put in angrily. "If
you know who did this to you and you know why
"
"There's no point. You saw those cops this morning. They're not
going to believe that - not for a single second. If they knew that I'd even
been talking to Stratton, then that little interrogation would look like
a walk in the park."
Jesse wanted to argue, to tell him that he could trust the police -
that they would help him - but he wasn't that naïve. A former criminal
in contact with a crime boss would lead to inevitable - if inaccurate -
conclusions.
"So, what are you going to do?" He asked instead.
"Lay low for a while, I guess," Berwick sighed. "That's
what I did the last time. And it worked, until I got stupid and thought
that Mel would have forgotten about me. I went back to the old neighbourhood
- I guess I was homesick. It was a mistake."
"You can't hide away forever," Jesse protested.
"Mel won't be around forever," Berwick responded, though
he sounded more hopeful than confident. "He's getting greedy and upsetting
the wrong people. It'll be okay, Jess." He frowned as Jesse merely
nodded distractedly. "You're not comfortable with any of this, are
you?"
"I'm just
I'm trying to understand." The doctor desperately
wanted to believe what he was hearing, but he needed to be sure. "Like
why did you stop?"
"What? You mean: once a thief, always a thief?" He shook
his head. "It's not like that, Jess. I swear." He sighed again
and his gaze dropped to the bedclothes. "I stopped because
"
When he looked back up, his eyes were bright with tears. "I met someone.
You know
fell in love
"
"And he
" Jesse had to fight down a sudden surge of
intense jealousy when he heard those words. "He convinced you to change?"
"No. He died." Berwick took a deep, shuddering breath. "Simon
was as bad as me. Actually, he was worse. He never shied away from the physical
stuff. One night there was
There was this
fight
"
"You don't have to do this." His compassionate nature overcoming
everything else he was feeling, Jesse tried to stop the broken, pain-filled
words.
"Yes, Jesse, I do." The brown eyes were no longer sleepy
or sexy - but bored into him intently. "I need you to understand that
I've changed. That I'm worth taking a chance on." He blinked away his
tears. "Simon was killed in a gang fight. He got caught in crossfire
and
well, the cops said that it was one of our guys who shot him.
It was all so pointless
Such a waste
That was when I walked
away."
"I'm sorry," Jesse murmured, not knowing what else to say.
"It was a long time ago." Berwick shrugged off his grief
and turned his attention instead to the present. He reached up with one
hand and caressed the young doctor's cheek. "So what do you say, Jess?
Once I'm out of here, do you wanna go for dinner? Or even just for a drink?"
Jesse caught hold of his hand and put it to his lips. Kissing it softly,
he closed his eyes. He'd been alone for too long and Berwick was so loving,
so caring, so
everything.
"Right now," he whispered, throatily. "I'm not thinking
of anywhere other than my apartment."
"Oh, Jesse."
The young doctor could offer no resistance as Berwick took him in his
arms and captured his mouth in a tender kiss.
*****
For three days, Jesse tried to function as normal - when he felt
anything but. He fulfilled his duties as a doctor, he worked his shifts
at BBQ Bob's and he stole every spare moment he could with Nick. It didn't
matter how many times he told himself that it was wrong, he simply couldn't
help it.
The man was like a drug and Jesse needed his fix. Whether it was a
loving word, a gentle caress or an illicit kiss, Jesse craved the contact.
He was aware that there were rumours circulating about him, but he
successfully managed to ignore them. The hospital corridors were always
rife with gossip.
And - amidst all this - he also deflected every attempt that Dale and
O'Connor made to talk to his patient. The two cops tried everything - from
aggression and intimidation, to threatening him with a warrant - but Jesse
refused to give so much as an inch. As long as he was Berwick's doctor,
there wasn't a damned thing that the detectives could do about it.
But it was all beginning to wear him down and he knew that he would
not be able to put them off forever. He was just nearing the end of his
shift when things came to a head.
"Jesse, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you."
Jesse whirled at the sound of Steve Sloan's voice. He had just exited
the elevator, heading for the doctor's lounge, seeking only a cup of coffee
and some time alone to think. But Steve's voice had scuppered those plans.
The detective didn't sound as though he was in a very good mood. They entered
the lounge together.
"Hey, Steve." He tried to offer his usual ebullient greeting,
but Nick Berwick dominated his thoughts completely. "You want coffee?"
Jesse's offer was automatic - polite - even as he willed the older man to
leave him alone.
"No, Jess," came the terse response. "Will you sit down,
please? We need to talk."
*****
"Is, um
Is something wrong?" Jesse ignored his need
for coffee and did as Steve asked.
"Nicholas Berwick." Steve noted the way that his friend's
eyes dropped - and the faint flush that coloured his cheeks - at the mention
of that name.
"Yeah, he's
uh, he's my patient." Jesse risked a glance
upwards and saw the detective's face set in stone. He quickly looked away.
"Um
What about him?"
"Does he make you nervous, Jess?" Steve's tone was as set
as his features. "You seem a little on edge."
"No, I
I'm just tired. I need a coffee." He started
to rise from his chair.
"Sit down!" The detective snapped. "I want some answers
from you and I want them now. I had two of my colleagues - from Organised
Crime - breaking down my door this morning, telling me that you were obstructing
their investigation."
"Wait a minute!" Though he was sorry that Steve had got dragged
into this mess, he still couldn't condone the behaviour of those colleagues.
"I was looking after the interests of my patient - that's all. I've
done it a thousand times before. Hell, I've even done it to you."
"It's been five days since he was brought in, Jesse. Surely he's
strong enough to talk to them now." Steve's tone softened slightly
as he opted for the voice of reason instead. He'd been angry when he'd first
arrived. Angry that his friendship with Jesse had been abused in such a
manner. Dale and O'Connor had told him - in no uncertain terms - that, unless
he wanted to see his business partner hauled before a judge, he should get
them access to Berwick.
Now he was beginning to see that there was more to this than he'd first
believed.
"If they just wanted to talk to him, then maybe." Jesse's
agitation grew as he answered. "But, Steve, they were aggressive and
intimidating and
"
"Jess, they're just doing their job. Did they tell you anything
about Berwick? He's a dangerous man
" He trailed off as a sudden
thought struck him. "Has he threatened you or something? Is that why
you won't let them talk to him?"
"No!" Jesse's protest was so instant and heartfelt that Steve
knew he was wrong. "Nick's not like
" He stopped abruptly,
horrified by how much he'd been about to reveal. But he'd already said too
much, judging from the look of disbelief on his friend's face.
"Nick?" The detective was utterly shocked by the fondness
that had been in Jesse's voice. "Just how well do you know him, Jess?"
The young doctor couldn't even begin to think of an answer.
"What the hell's going on, Jesse?" An ugly thought forced
its way to the front of Steve's mind. "Surely you're not
You
couldn't be that stupid."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Jesse's mumbled
response and averted gaze turned his words into an instant lie.
"You can't have feelings for this guy," Steve continued,
incredulously. "Not only is he a patient. He's
"
"Shut up, Steve!" Jesse had been under pressure for too long
and his temper finally snapped. "Just shut up! What I do is none of
your business - so just butt out, okay?"
He leapt to his feet, intending to put as much distance between himself
and the detective as possible, but Steve moved equally quickly and caught
hold of his arm.
"It is my business when you put not only your career, but your
very life in danger," he snapped.
"My life?" Jesse's response was incredulous. "My life's
not in danger. You don't know anything about Nick - other than what your
thuggish friends have told you."
"Jesse
"
"Just leave me the hell alone." Jesse jerked his arm free.
"It's nothing to do with you."
"Jesse
" Steve tried again, but it was too late. He
was left talking to the young man's rapidly retreating back.
*****
Steve shook his head in utter exasperation as he watched Jesse hurrying
down the corridor. He wished that - just for once - he could do the right
thing by his friend. But no matter how hard he tried - no matter how good
his intentions - he always seemed to make things worse.
Which was why he had never been able to summon up the courage to ask
the younger man out. His dad had implored him to, time and time again -
had done his best to convince him that his feelings for Jesse would be reciprocated
- but he simply didn't dare.
There was too much at stake. He genuinely valued his friendship with
Jesse and their joint business venture - though hard work at times - was
tremendous fun. Steve didn't want to risk any of that. And he would be risking
it because he knew that, if Jesse turned him down, their friendship would
be irrevocably changed.
So he held his silence and kept his intimate feelings to himself. Up
until now he had been content with what he had. He was happy just to look
at the young man, to dream about him, to fantasise. That way, he could fulfil
his desires without jeopardising the bond that they had forged. Until now.
Now, Nick Berwick had arrived on the scene and rushed in where he had
feared to tread. And - judging by the way the young doctor had just reacted
- Jesse was totally smitten. And it hurt. Steve never would have believed
just how much it would hurt - the mere thought of Jesse in the arms of another
man - but it stabbed at his heart and left him blinking away bitter tears.
It wasn't just jealousy. He also had a very real sense of unease -
that bordered on pure fear - churning in his stomach. His colleagues had
painted a very grim picture of Berwick - of what he was capable of and of
what he had done in the past. Even had he not harboured secret feelings
for Jesse, Steve would have been concerned. Berwick was dangerous and he
didn't want Jesse going anywhere near him.
Sighing heavily, Steve ran his hands through his hair. He wasn't prepared
to just sit back and wait for his friend to get hurt. But, in trying to
help him, he would risk ruining their friendship completely.
In his heart, Steve knew that he had no choice. Jesse had left him
with only one option. He had to talk to his dad.
*****
Dammit, dammit, dammit! Jesse swore to himself as he hurried
down the corridor, heading to Nick's room. He was in a lot of trouble and
he knew it. There was simply no way that Steve wouldn't tell his father
about what he had learnt. And - friend or not - Mark would be left with
no choice but to take action.
He cursed his open, expressive features that had allowed Steve to read
him so easily; cursed his slip of the tongue that had only confirmed the
detective's suspicions and he cursed the rules that would forcibly keep
him away from the object of his desire for the remainder of his time in
hospital.
He paused outside Nick's room - his hand rested on the door handle
- and took a moment to compose himself. Nick was still recovering from his
injuries and he didn't want to unduly upset him.
"Jess," Berwick smiled warmly at him. "You really should
try to keep it more than an hour between visits. People will start to talk."
"People already have," the doctor murmured in response. He
crossed over to the bed, sat in his customary place on the edge of it and
took one of Nick's hands in his own. "I
I mean, we
We've
been found out
"
"Found out?" Berwick's eyes softened in sympathy and he squeezed
Jesse's hand. "What's been found out? We've done nothing wrong."
"I kissed you." Jesse lowered his eyes as a blush crept up
his cheeks. "I
I have feelings for you."
"You do?" Nick's free hand reached up to caress his cheek.
"That's good, because I think
I think I have feelings for you
too."
"But
"
"Sshh." His gentle hands drew the young doctor closer. "If
we both feel the same way, how can this possibly be wrong?"
Jesse closed his eyes as Nick's lips met his in the sweetest kiss he
had ever experienced in his life before. He felt himself responding - his
mouth opening wider, his tongue probing deeper - and the consequences be
damned.
It was Nick who eventually pulled out of the embrace. His eyes - ignited
with lust - burned into Jesse's.
"Should I ask you how they found out?" There was mild teasing
in his tone but his words had a completely unexpected reaction as Jesse
pulled his hands free and got to his feet.
"I'm sorry." The doctor began to pace - clearly agitated
and not just at the situation he now found himself in.
"Jess?"
"There are
things I should have told you." Somehow
Jesse found the courage to look at him. "Before now, I mean. Important
things."
"No, I don't believe you." Nick's tone was infinitely soothing.
"You're not a man of secrets."
"Not secrets, just
stuff
"
"Well, if it's just stuff." Again, the teasing note
entered his voice. "You can sit down and tell me now." Though
his voice was light, his eyes were totally serious. "Talk to me, Jesse.
Please."
"Well
" With more than a little reluctance, the doctor
retook his seat on the edge of the bed. "You know I told you about
my friend? The guy I run the restaurant with?"
"Steve, isn't it?" Nick murmured, with unmistakable confusion.
"Yeah, you've mentioned him."
"He's a cop."
Jesse didn't know what he'd expected when he uttered those three simple
words - just as he couldn't explain why he had kept that choice piece of
information from the man whom he craved as a lover - but Nick's reassuring
gaze never faltered.
"And?" Berwick smiled softly. "I told you, Jess. That
part of my life is ancient history."
"But those guys - the ones who came to question you - they told
him to make me let them see you and when I wouldn't he wanted to know why
and he thought you'd threatened me and I couldn't hide what I was feeling
and
"
"Jess, baby, slow down. Take a breath." His calming voice
cut through the doctor's sudden bout of babbling. "It's okay. It's
not your fault."
"But there's something else." Jesse's eyes were bright with
tears as he realised just how much trouble he was in. "He knows about
us and
his dad is my boss."
Any response Berwick might have made was prevented by a soft knock
at the door.
"Nick, they're gonna stop me from being your doctor," Jesse
hissed, with barely concealed panic. "And your new doctor might not
be able to stop them. It's gonna be a couple of days before you're discharged
and
"
"Doctor Travis, might I have a moment?"
Jesse's desperate flow of words was curtailed by the sound of Mark
Sloan's voice. His gaze locked with Nick's.
"You know where to find me," he whispered. Then he turned
to face the man who had become such a great friend to him - who was more
than just his mentor and was more like a surrogate father.
"In my office."
Jesse inwardly winced at the steel in the older man's tone and Nick's
hastily muttered "good luck," barely even registered.
"Sure, Mark." He tried to keep his tone level, but even he
could hear the way that his voice shook.
*****
"Sit down, Jesse." The young doctor quailed at his mentor's
tone of voice. But at least he had reverted back to 'Jesse' and not the
all too formal 'Doctor Travis'.
Closing the door softly, Jesse sat in the chair that was offered to
him and Mark moved to sit behind his big old desk. Once settled, he looked
at his colleague gravely.
"I'm guessing that you know why you're here," Mark began.
Jesse kept his eyes downcast. He couldn't lie to Mark - that option
never once crossed his mind - so he said nothing.
"Is it true that you have entered into a wholly inappropriate
- not to mention highly unethical - relationship with one of your patients?"
When Jesse still didn't respond, didn't so much as raise his head, he snapped:
"Will you please at least do me the courtesy of looking at me?"
Jesse flinched at the anger in the older man's voice, but he did as
he was asked and Mark was horrified by the anguish that he saw reflected
in his eyes.
"So you're not even going to try and deny it?" Mark asked
- wishing that the younger man would do just that - do anything other than
just sit there and await his punishment. "Jesse, say something. Please."
"Isn't this where you're supposed to ask me how I could've been
so stupid?" Jesse let out a shaky little laugh.
"No, Jess. It's gone way beyond that." Mark didn't return
his tremulous smile. "This is where I have to decide whether I'm going
to suspend you and report you to the hospital Board." Panic flared
in cerulean eyes. "Or whether I'm going to trust you to stay well away
from that man - and take your word that you will never, ever do something
like this again."
"It doesn't
" Jesse didn't dare dwell on the hope that
he might escape with a mere slap on the wrist. "It doesn't bother you
that it's a man?"
"Given my son's own sexuality, it doesn't bother me in the slightest."
He saw surprise flash across the young man's features and frowned inwardly.
Surely Jesse knew that Steve was gay - but he didn't have time to dwell
on that. Jesse had, inadvertently, hit the nail on the head.
While it was of no concern to him that it was a male patient
whom Jesse had started a relationship with, just that it was a patient,
there were others - particularly certain members of the hospital Board -
whose minds were much narrower than his. He feared that - if he were to
launch an official investigation - he would be throwing Jesse to the wolves.
There was simply no way that he'd be allowed to remain on the staff at Community
General. And - no matter what he had done - he was simply too good a doctor
to lose to such bigotry.
"Steve is
" Jesse couldn't believe what he'd just heard.
His tall, handsome, masculine friend was gay.
"This isn't about Steve," Mark interrupted him. "This
is about you. I need to know that I can trust you. And I need you to promise
that nothing like this will ever happen again."
"Mark, I never planned for this to happen. I'm sorry." Jesse's
tearful gaze dropped to his hands. "I tried to walk away - I really
did - but it was just so hard. I
I really care about him."
"So you're not going to promise me that you'll stay away from
him until he's discharged?"
"I can promise you that I'll try."
"That's not good enough, Jesse," Mark responded sadly - even
as his agile mind desperately sought a solution to this dilemma. "I
can't allow for this to continue." He rubbed tiredly at his brow. "I
suppose I should thank you for your honesty - but, Jess, if you can't swear
to me that you'll stay away from Nick Berwick for the next two or three
days - then you're not leaving me with much choice."
"You'll have to suspend me," Jesse whispered, knowing that
such an action could not be kept from the Board and that his career would
effectively be over. He stood up and drifted towards the window, not wanting
his mentor to see how much that prospect terrified him. "I
I
understand."
Mark looked at him - noticing the way that his slight frame trembled
- and a slow smile replaced the worry that had so dominated his features.
He crossed to where his young colleague stood.
"Are you feeling alright, Jess?" he asked, solicitously.
"Only you look a little pale."
Jesse turned to face him - ready to protest that he was just fine -
then he saw the look in the older man's eyes and a smile touched his lips.
"I guess I do feel a little under the weather," he murmured.
"Maybe it was something I ate."
"You should go home, take a couple of days off and don't come
back until you're feeling better." He slipped a fatherly arm around
the young man's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Jess. It's the best I can do."
*****
Not being at the hospital helped. Not being at the hospital meant
that Jesse couldn't find the slightest excuse to go and see Nick. He couldn't
simply make a brief detour to see the man he so desired.
Instead he would have to drive across town, make his excuses for being
there - when he was supposed to be sick - and pray that nobody caught him.
It wasn't a risk he was willing to take. Mark had given him a chance - had
effectively stuck his neck out for him - and he was not about to let his
mentor down.
So he occupied his time by throwing himself into working at the restaurant,
trying to put the impossible hours that he normally worked at the hospital
into the business that he owned with Steve. It was inevitable that, sooner
or later, they would run into one another.
Jesse was behind the counter, trying hard not to wonder when - or if
- he'd ever see Nick again. He automatically glanced up as the door opened
- then froze when he saw Steve walk in.
"Hi, Jess." Steve's tone was wary and he was unsure of the
reception he'd get from the younger man. But he couldn't just walk away
without trying to see if at least something of their friendship remained
intact.
"Hey, Steve." While Jesse's response was guarded, there was
no hostility in his voice.
"Uh
How are you?"
"Steve." Mild amusement shone from the blonde man's eyes.
"I wasn't really sick."
"I know
I, uh
" The detective hated to feel so
awkward around his friend but he couldn't help it. In truth, he was feeling
a little guilty. "Jesse, I'm sorry."
"Yeah." Jesse's gaze dropped and he found that he didn't
have anything else to say.
"I was just worried about you. I
"
Jesse looked up, realising just how many people were listening in to
their conversation. Though the evening rush had not yet begun, the staff
were watching them avidly. Moving so suddenly that Steve didn't have time
to protest, he caught hold of the detective's arm and hauled him into the
stockroom.
"If you've come here just to tell me what a bad person Nick is,"
he flared, heartsick and terrified that he was never going to see that man
again. "I don't wanna hear it. I'm not gonna listen to you. You don't
know him. You don't
"
"Jess, Jesse!" Steve had to raise his voice to cut through
the young man's tirade. When he finally got his full attention, he continued
more gently. "I came here to work. It's Friday night."
"Oh yeah. Right." Jesse's cheeks coloured with embarrassment.
"Um
Sorry."
Steve was uncomfortably aware of just how small and cramped the stockroom
was. His close proximity to his young friend was having the most alarming
effect on his body. It would be so easy to just take him in his arms and
He's in love with somebody else, you jerk, he mentally berated
himself. It's too late for that.
He cleared his throat to hide his discomfort. "I just wanted to
say that I didn't mean to cause trouble for you. I just
"
"You didn't do anything wrong," Jesse sighed, silencing the
detective - and almost causing his heart to stop - by placing his fingers
against the older man's lips. "I didn't really leave you with any choice."
"Jess..." Steve's voice threatened to fail him as Jesse looked
up at him with those beautiful, guileless, forgiving eyes. He took a step
forward so that their bodies were touching.
The younger man's eyes widened and Steve could only pray that what
he saw flash in there was hope - and maybe lust.
"Doctor Travis? Jesse?" A female voice called from the other
side of the door. "There's someone here to see you. He says his name's
Nick."
The moment - and whatever it might have led to - was lost as Jesse
whirled away from Steve and practically ripped the stockroom door off its
hinges when he heard those words.
"Nick!"
Steve winced at the utter joy that was evident in just that one word.
And he could only watch - in silent, agonising envy - as Jesse raced along
the length of the counter and practically threw himself into the other man's
arms.
The look of delight on Nick's face matched Jesse's own and he needed
no second bidding as the young doctor looked up at him. He captured Jesse's
eager mouth in a passionate kiss.
*****
"Oh
My
God
"
It was the voice of Vicky Herbert - the same waitress who'd told Jesse
of Nick's visit - that finally forced the two men out of their loving embrace.
"Wow, Jesse," she continued, her eyes bright with envy as
they swept over Nick's perfect body. "That sure is one hell of a way
to come out of the closet."
Jesse was brought down to earth with a bump. His passion had overtaken
everything the moment that he'd seen Nick, but now he was forcibly reminded
of just where he was - and just how many people had witnessed the encounter
- and he blushed to the roots of his hair.
"Come out of the
" Nick looked down at him and mortification
suffused his features. "Oh, Jess, I'm so sorry. I just assumed that
people knew."
"They know now." Jesse forced himself to look at his assembled
staff - deliberately making eye contact with each and every one of them
- looking for any hint of revulsion or bigotry. And, while their expressions
ranged from envy to embarrassment, not one of them looked away. "Everyone,
this is Nick Berwick," he said, glancing shyly at the man who still
held him. "I guess
I hope
you'll be seeing quite a bit
of him around here."
"You can count on it," Nick murmured, softly kissing his
hair.
Jesse's gaze was dragged to where Steve was standing - still in the
doorway of the stockroom. The detective's expression was unreadable and
Jesse was suddenly nervous about introducing his best friend to his new
love.
Nick followed the young doctor's gaze and instantly realised that the
tall, handsome man had to be the Steve Sloan that he'd heard so much about.
But, unlike Jesse, he could see the jealousy that smouldered in the older
man's blue eyes. With dismay, he realised that - even with Jesse playing
such a big part in both of their lives - they would never be friends.
Then Steve's face creased into a guarded smile and he stepped forwards
- one hand outstretched.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Nick. I've heard a lot about you."
And not just from Jesse. The message in his eyes was abundantly clear.
"Likewise." Nick took the hand that was proffered to him
and tried not to wince when Steve squeezed it decidedly harder than was
necessary.
"Don't hurt him." The words were spoken in a low growl, but
Jesse's head still snapped up as he heard them.
"Steve!" He protested, upset - but not surprised - by his
friend's behaviour. "I
"
"It's okay, Jess." Nick extricated his hand and flashed a
reassuring smile towards the blonde. "He's just looking out for you."
Turning his attention back to the detective, he added: "I've no intention
of hurting him. I know you don't like me - and I'm pretty sure I know why
- but I really care about him. Can't we try and get on? For Jesse's sake?"
Steve glanced towards where the subject of their conversation stood,
watching the proceedings with expressions of hope and dismay warring for
dominance of his features. He nodded curtly.
"For Jesse's sake," he agreed, with another - more gentle
- handshake.
"Great!" Jesse's relief was palpable as he clapped both men
on the arm. His enthusiasm and zest for life rose swiftly to the surface.
"Um, Steve? I've been here since lunchtime and I thought
Well,
I was kinda hoping
" He glanced sidelong at Nick, his intentions
all too clear.
No! Don't go with him, Steve inwardly ranted. Stay here with
me. Finish what we started in the stockroom. I love you, Jesse. Can't you
see that?
But he said none of this aloud. Instead, he plastered a false smile
across his face and said: "Sure, Jess. You've earned the night off."
"Then I'll see you tomorrow?"
Steve merely nodded and then could only watch helplessly as the two
of them left the restaurant hand in hand - blatantly ignoring Vicky's wolf
whistle that followed them out into the street.
*****
"So
they let you out." Alone with Nick, Jesse found
that he was suddenly nervous.
"This afternoon." They were wandering aimlessly down the
street and Nick slipped one arm around the smaller man's shoulders. "Then
I spent four hours at the police station with the charming detectives Dale
and O'Connor."
"Oh." Jesse's steps slowed. "Is
Is everything
alright?"
"Everything's fine." Nick stopped and turned Jesse to face
him. He gently cupped the doctor's chin and lifted his head, forcibly stopping
his intense scrutiny of the sidewalk. "They questioned me for a while
and made some pretty heavy accusations - then they let me go. I told you,
Jess. I've done nothing wrong. You do trust me, don't you?"
"Yes." The doctor's response was emphatic. "I just
I've been worried about you. And I
" He glanced away, suddenly
shy. "I missed you."
"You too, baby." Nick closed his eyes and his hands caressed
his face. "You don't know how much."
Jesse wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and eagerly accepted his
kiss. When they eventually broke from their embrace, both men's faces were
flushed with arousal.
"My car's back at Bob's," Jesse murmured and, as they retraced
their steps, they were moving with decidedly more haste.
On arrival at the restaurant, Nick took a moment to step back and appreciate
the sleek lines of Jesse's Mustang. It really was a car to be admired. Jesse
unlocked the door and looked back at the other man, wondering at the delay.
A wicked gleam entered Nick's eyes.
"There's not a lot of room in there
" The lust in his
voice had Jesse biting his lip to try and quell his growing desire.
"Ten minutes to my apartment," he managed to croak out.
Nick slipped into the passenger seat and Jesse gunned the car to life.
He had to resist the urge to put his foot right to the floor to expedite
his arrival home. Now was not the time to get arrested. Somehow, he managed
to keep within the legal limit, even when Nick's hand dropped onto his thigh
and stroked it gently for the remainder of the journey.
As Jesse brought the Mustang to a halt outside his apartment complex,
the hand on his thigh was stilled.
"Are you really sure about this, Jess?" Nick asked him with
utmost sincerity. "After all, we've only just
"
His words were cut off as Jesse closed the short distance between them
and kissed him with such raw, undisguised passion that he almost tried to
find out whether there was enough room to make love in the Mustang.
Common sense prevailed and he gently disentangled himself from the
young doctor's clutches. He noticed the disappointment that flashed across
Jesse's face but didn't give him time to dwell on it.
"Let's take this upstairs."
They could barely keep their hands off one another. When they reached
his door, Jesse fumbled with the keys and almost dropped them in his haste
to get inside. Finally they spilled into the apartment and didn't even bother
with the lights before they began tearing at each others clothes.
Their movements - though frantic with lust - were dextrous and in moments
they were both naked. They didn't as much as pause in their frenetic activity.
Jesse though smaller, pushed Nick back up against the wall - rubbing their
engorged cocks together and all the while snatching desperate kisses.
Nick kicked his lover's legs slightly apart and slid one finger down
the crack of his ass, before slipping it easily inside his anus. Jesse threw
his head back - knowing that he couldn't hold out for much longer - and
he felt sharp teeth nip at his throat. He closed his eyes tightly, grinding
his hips against his lovers. As Nick's questing finger found its target
and brushed against his prostate, he cried out in utter ecstasy and his
orgasm was torn from him, coating both of their stomachs in hot, creamy
cum.
"I'm sorry
" He gasped, collapsing forward onto the
other man's chest and unable to prevent the tears that seeped from behind
his eyelids. "It's
It's been so long
"
Strong arms surrounded him and a gentle kiss was brushed against his
hair.
"For me too, baby," Nick murmured, sounding equally breathless.
"You've nothing to be sorry for."
As Jesse's senses returned to something resembling normal, he realised
that Nick's own cock also now lay spent and the heady scent of sex emanated
from them both.
"I didn't mean for it to be over so quickly." Jesse was still
embarrassed by his inability to control his reactions.
"I think we both needed that." Nick's voice was strong and
reassuring. "I know that I've wanted it from the moment I first laid
eyes on you."
"When you first laid eyes on me." Jesse's eyes sparkled mischievously.
"You were bleeding to death. I wouldn't have thought that getting laid
was high on your list of priorities."
"You'd be surprised." Nick nuzzled at his cheek. "That
look in my eyes that you thought was pain?" His lips moved down to
Jesse's neck. "It was lust." He trailed kisses across his throat.
"I could've taken you right there."
Jesse moaned softly as Nick's expert mouth continued its ministrations.
Already his cock was twitching with renewed arousal. As Nick's fingers gently
brushed against his growing erection, he sighed with pure pleasure.
"Which way to the bedroom?" His lover murmured and Jesse
felt a thrill of pure desire shiver down his spine.
*****
Jesse was a habitually early riser. His years at medical school
- and then working as an intern - had left him with the ability to survive
on very little sleep. It was a good job, because he and Nick had spent half
the night making love. Eventually, sated and exhausted, they had fallen
asleep, still firmly entwined together.
When Jesse awoke, he could have quite happily stayed where he was -
nestled in Nick's arms. But - now that his lover had been discharged from
hospital - he had no excuse not to go into work, so a lie-in was not an
option.
Moving as carefully as he could, he extricated himself from the other
man's embrace and sat for a moment on the edge of the bed, rubbing the remnants
of sleep from his eyes. He was in desperate need of a shower - cleanliness
hadn't been high on their agenda the previous night - and the sheets would
most definitely have to be changed.
Even as these thoughts crossed Jesse's mind, he felt a questing hand
brush against his lower back.
"Where are you going?" Nick murmured, sleepily.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Jesse turned and
smiled at the tousle-haired image of his lover. It was a picture that would
definitely sustain him throughout the long day ahead. "I have to work.
I'm just going to grab a shower."
"That sounds like a good idea."
Jesse knew that he should say no, that he should just have a quick
shower - alone - and go straight to work. But 'come-to-bed eyes' took on
a whole new meaning with Nick and he was powerless to resist. He proffered
his hand to his lover and led him into the bathroom.
*****
Cloud nine didn't even come close to describing where Jesse was
when he practically bounced into work - somehow managing to arrive on time,
in spite of Nick's very tempting distractions.
Midway through his shift, he wandered into the doctor's lounge and
found Mark already in there - sipping at a coffee and leafing through a
medical journal. Jesse felt suddenly uncomfortable - residual guilt at the
way he had behaved making him a little reluctant to face his mentor.
But he knew that he couldn't avoid him forever and - as he stepped
into the lounge - he closed the door softly behind him.
"Mark." Jesse didn't even fetch himself the coffee that had
brought him there in the first place. Instead he hovered hesitantly by the
door. "I just wanted to say thanks. I mean
for helping me out
like that. And I'm sorry - really, really sorry. I messed up, I broke the
rules and
Well, I mean it, Mark. Thank you."
Mark laid down the journal and smiled warmly at his young protégé.
While he knew of Steve's feelings for Jesse, he was genuinely happy that
his young colleague had finally found someone to share his life with. He
would have preferred for that someone to have been his son, but Jesse was
so obviously happy - was, he'd noticed, positively glowing - he couldn't
begrudge him that.
"Jesse, I've been a doctor for a lot of years," he answered.
"Do you think that you're the first doctor that this has happened to?
Yes, you broke the rules but you're not the first and I'm sure that you
won't be the last. In fact, one of my former colleagues went on to marry
one of his patients. They celebrate their golden wedding anniversary next
year."
"Fifty years? Wow, that's a long time to be with the same person."
"Yes, it most certainly is." Regret tinged Mark's tone and
Jesse knew that he was thinking of his late wife. If the fates had allowed
then both men knew that Mark and Katherine would have enjoyed a similar
lifetime together. Then the older doctor gave himself a mental shake. "Now,
I'm not condoning what you did and - heaven forbid - if you do anything
like it in the future, I will throw the book at you. But I
"
"It's okay, Mark." Jesse slid into the seat opposite his
mentor and glanced at him, shyly. "I really think that Nick's the one.
If I could spend fifty years with anyone, then it would be him."
Mark's responding smile was tinged with sadness. Jesse's euphoria would
spell only heartache for his son. But it was not his place to interfere.
"I'm delighted for you, Jess," he said, sincerely. "I
really am and I hope you can be as happy with Nick as I was with Katherine."
It wasn't until he heard those words that Jesse realised just how much
his mentor's approval meant to him.
"Thanks Mark." He reached out to grasp the older man's hand.
"I hope we are too."
*****
Within a week, Jesse had fallen helplessly - and hopelessly - in
love. Nick spent so much time at his apartment that he had virtually moved
in and they simply could not get enough of one another.
As Jesse had hoped, Nick also spent a lot of his time at BBQ Bob's
- sitting at the counter while he watched Jesse work. Then holding his hand
and talking quietly when he had a break.
Jesse's initial nervousness as to the reaction of his staff proved
to be completely unfounded. It helped that Nick was not only good looking,
but was charming and funny and very easy to get along with. Everyone made
him feel totally welcome - everyone except for Steve.
Even though he had promised to try and get along with Nick, he was
finding it increasingly difficult. It seemed as though every time he turned
around his rival was there. And the love that shone from both his and Jesse's
eyes made him sick to his stomach.
So it was with some trepidation that he entered the restaurant on Friday
evening. As he walked through the door, his eyes swept the length of the
counter - fully expecting to see Nick sitting there, but there was no sign
of the other man.
Steve frowned to himself. Jesse was there, working away and he wondered
if he dared hope that they'd had a row, that they'd maybe even split up.
Crossing to where his friend stood, Steve mentally vowed that - if that
were the case - he would take the opportunity and tell Jesse exactly how
he felt.
"Hi, Jess," he greeted the smaller man, forcing himself to
keep his tone casual. "So, where's Nick?"
"At home." Jesse's eyes sparkled at the mere mention of his
name. "And he's planning a surprise. It's been exactly a week since
we
"
He trailed off, but the blush that suddenly coloured his cheeks effectively
completed the sentence for him.
Steve's heart sank. All he had wanted was one chance - a chance that
he should have taken years ago - but even that had been denied him. He hid
his bitter disappointment behind characteristic gruffness.
"Here was me thinking that the two of you were joined at the hip,"
he muttered. "I was wondering if you even took him into the OR with
you."
"Steve." Disappointment flashed in Jesse's eyes. "If
you think Nick's spending too much time here, I'll ask him to wait at home.
But I was kinda hoping that you'd maybe become friends."
"I'm sorry, Jess." Steve was instantly contrite when he saw
the misery his words had invoked in his young friend. "I'm just grouchy
because I've had a tough day at work. I like Nick, I really do," he
lied. "I think he's a great guy and I
I'm glad he's making you
so happy." Jesse rewarded him with a smile that made his heart ache,
but he forced himself to continue. "Now, why don't you go see what
your surprise is?"
The young doctor didn't need asking twice. He discarded his apron and
was out of the door almost before the words had left the detective's mouth.
*****
God damn that man. Nick opened the blinds for what felt like
the twentieth time, praying that - this time - he would see Jesse's car
pulling up outside. And, for the twentieth time, he was doomed to disappointment.
The street was quiet and there were not even any headlights in the
distance to offer a slight hope that his lover would arrive home soon.
It had to be Steve's doing. Jesse had assured him that he would be
able to get away early - in fact he'd been like a little boy at Christmas
when Nick had told him that there would be a surprise waiting for him when
he got home - and he knew that the young doctor wouldn't deliberately let
him down. So it had to be Steve.
Nick was actually a little surprised by that realisation. He knew that
the detective didn't like him, but he seemed to have genuine feelings for
Jesse and he wouldn't have thought that Steve would allow his own jealousy
to get in the way of his friend's happiness.
He thought about calling the restaurant, but instantly rejected the
idea. Knowing his luck, Steve would answer and he would be forced to listen
to his smug excuses. The only thing that he couldn't understand was why
Jesse himself hadn't called.
His lover was more considerate than that - he would never leave him
hanging without good reason. And he'd been so anticipating his surprise
- the sumptuous dinner that was slowly being ruined in the oven and the
gold chain that was wrapped up and waiting on the pillow - Nick simply couldn't
believe that he had let him down.
The first stirrings of unease churned in his stomach. Even though he'd
only known Jesse for a week, he knew him well enough to realise that something
had to be wrong for him to behave so uncharacteristically. He pulled his
cell phone out of his pocket - then almost dropped it in fright when it
suddenly burst into life.
"Hello?" Fear made his voice harsh.
"Hi there, Nicky." The dread that had previously churned
in Nick's stomach suddenly spiked into utter terror when he instantly recognised
the caller's voice.
"Stratton," he hissed, his hand tightening convulsively around
the phone. "Where's Jesse?"
"Why, Nicky, he's right here with me. You wanna say hi?"
There was a brief pause, a muffled sound, then: "N
Nick..?"
"Jess." The young doctor's voice had been barely audible
and Nick couldn't tell whether it was pain or fear that made it tremble
so much. "Jess, baby, are you okay?"
"Oh, he's alright." It was Stratton's hated voice that responded.
"Maybe a little battered and bruised. He really shouldn't have struggled."
"Oh, God." Nick closed his eyes, horror flooding through
him at the thought of Jesse suffering.
"You know," Stratton continued, his voice filled with malicious
glee. "You sure know how to pick 'em, Nicky. He really is exquisite."
"Don't you touch him!"
"Then come to the warehouse," Stratton snapped. "You
and I have things to discuss. And, Nicky? I'd hurry if I were you. You know
how hard I find it to resist temptation."
*****
Jesse awoke to complete darkness. His head was pounding and it took
him a long moment to figure out what the hell had happened.
He remembered leaving Bob's - remembered the excitement he'd felt at
the thought of whatever surprise Nick had planned for him - but after that
things got a little blurred.
Someone had been waiting for him when he'd approached his car. They'd
hit him repeatedly, before binding his hands and bundling him into his own
car. And then they - whoever they were - must have hit him again, because
he remembered nothing more.
Now he could feel the soft cloth of a blindfold across his eyes. He
was sitting down and his hands were still tied, but there was no gag in
his mouth.
"H
hello?" He called out tremulously. Then he cried
out as a blow landed against his already sore ribs.
"Keep quiet," a voice snarled in his ear. "Until you're
told otherwise."
Jesse flinched away from the sound - it had been so shockingly close
and he hadn't even been aware of anyone else's presence.
"Who..?" The other man's threat didn't immediately register,
but it was reinforced by another brutal blow to his abdomen.
"I said shut up."
"So, you're awake." A second voice invaded his darkness and,
again, he started violently at the sound. A cold sweat had broken out all
over his body. Though it was the first man who had hit him, there was something
about the newcomer's voice that chilled him to his very core. "Good,
I've got a little job for you."
Jesse could only listen to what was obviously one side of a telephone
conversation. And it was equally obvious who his captor was talking to.
A few moments later the phone was pressed against his ear.
"Say hello to your boyfriend."
"N
Nick?" He stammered, cringing away from another
expected blow. None was forthcoming and the phone was swiftly taken away.
But he could still hear his captor's voice and he shuddered at his final
words: "You know how hard I find it to resist temptation."
"No
" Jesse moaned softly, unaware that he had even
spoken aloud until someone hit him again.
"Well, now." The telephone call over, the second man - Mel
Stratton, Jesse correctly assumed - turned his attention back to his prisoner.
"Let's have a proper look at you."
Jesse was blind - completely blind - unable to anticipate where the
next attack was coming from. He felt rough hands grab at his shirt and then
it was ripped effortlessly open. Stratton leaned in closer and he cringed
even further back in his chair as fetid breath washed over his face.
"Beautiful
"
A leg was thrust between his - forcing his knees apart - and he could
feel the other man looming over him. Warm lips brushed across his forehead.
"Stop
"
Stratton responded to his whispered entreaty by punching him - hard
- in the stomach.
"You don't tell me what to do," he snarled. "You don't
say anything."
The hands that had grasped the ragged edges of his shirt began to move,
slipping the ruined material back off his shoulders before beginning to
stroke his chest. Thumbs brushed over his nipples and the caresses were
intimate and invasive.
As the sweat slicked hands explored every inch of his bared torso,
tears filled Jesse's eyes and he felt physically sick with terror. Stratton's
fingers lingered at the waistband of his pants.
"Please don't
" In spite of the memory of the pain he'd
endured every time he'd spoken before, Jesse couldn't prevent the quiet
plea from escaping his lips.
Suddenly a large hand closed around his throat, forcing his head back
and cutting off his airway.
"You say one more word," Stratton hissed, his face so close
to Jesse's that they were almost touching. "And I'll put something
in your mouth to shut you up. And it sure won't be a gag."
Raucous laughter from somewhere to his left reminded the young doctor
that there was at least one other person in the room with him. Tears spilled
from his eyes and soaked into the blindfold. He wanted to plead again -
to do anything to prevent the horror that he was being forced to endure
- but Stratton's grip on his throat wouldn't allow it. And he had no doubt
in his mind that his captor would carry out his perverted threat if he so
much as tried.
The fingers that were threatening to crush his windpipe were loosened
ever so slightly, but Stratton's free hand reached up to bury itself in
Jesse's hair. As his head was jerked even further back, he gasped in a desperate
breath.
He barely had time for even that slight luxury before a hot mouth descended
on his. The terrified young doctor could not even close his mouth against
the invasion. Stratton forced his tongue in deeply - licking and probing
- kissing him, brutally. Jesse tried to twist free, but it was a battle
that he could not possibly win.
His captor - his potential rapist - easily followed his squirming movements
and Jesse was forced to endure the rancid taste of whiskey and cigar smoke
that left him gagging and struggling to breath.
Eventually - mercifully - Stratton broke off his attack on Jesse's
mouth.
"Now look what you've done," he murmured and his voice was
thick with desire. "You've got me all hot and horny."
To prove his point, he lowered his not-inconsiderable weight onto the
young man's lap and leaned forwards to let his rampant erection dig into
his captive's stomach.
"You'd better hope your boyfriend gets here soon." His intrusive
hands moved back to Jesse's chest, toying with his nipples, making them
hard. "Or else you're going to have to do something about that."
Return to Diagnosis Murder adult page