Disclaimer: Hercules, Iolaus (Ania, Alcmene, Skouros, Dieanera, Dahak etc)all belong to MCA/Universal and Renaissance (although if they were ours, we'd treat 'em a whole lot better!), and no infringement of copyright is intended.
Iolaus conceded this point. "So you
reckon I turn into your enemy?" he asked. His face creased into a pensive
frown. "I don't understand. How could I turn into your enemy? I mean,
what would possess me to do such a thing?"
"Um ... " Hercules smiled nervously. "I think 'possession'
is the key word here, my friend."
Iolaus stared at him, wide-eyed with horror. "Oh, you can't POSSIBLY
mean ... I don't ... I can't ... Herc, that's just not possible!"
"Well, from all the rumours and the conjecture ..."
"But that's what it is, right? Conjecture?"
"Maybe. But there is some pictorial evidence - and then there's Autolycus
..."
"Autolycus?" Iolaus echoed in a bewildered voice. "What does
he have to do with this?"
"Well, according to him, you're going to undergo some kind of exorcism
or last temptation ... or something."
The blond warrior snorted derisively. "You can't believe anything Autolycus
tells you!" he snapped. "Herc, I thought you had more sense than
that!"
"I do!" It was the demigod's turn to pace now. "It's just
- well, if all this speculation is correct and you DO come back possessed
and as my enemy, an exorcism would bring you back ... maybe .."
"That's a big 'maybe'."
Hercules had to admit the truth of this. "Yeah," he agreed, reluctantly.
"It is. The trouble is - we don't know what happens after that - no-one
knows ... and there are rumours flying around everywhere. It's upsetting
a lot of people."
"I'm kind of upset myself," Iolaus pointed out, wryly. "After
all, this is ME this is happening to. Did I upset someone or something?"
"I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with all those times I
was off somewhere else and you were having your own adventures - maybe you
were just too good at the hero stuff and someone felt that you had to go
- or that they had to reassert me as the number one hero."
"And to do that they had to kill me?" Iolaus was incredulous.
"Herc, you're my best friend, my brother and I would NEVER do anything
to hurt you or your reputation. You know that."
The demigod slung an arm around his friend's shoulders. "I DO know
that, Iolaus," he said, fondly. "I don't begrudge you the adventures
you've had alone, the heroics you've shown - you ARE my hero, after all.
But someone, somewhere, obviously got ticked off and they decided to teach
you a lesson."
Iolaus considered this for a moment. "That's very unfair," he
said, at last.
Hercules nodded. "Yes, it is," he agreed emphatically. "Hey,
but apparently, Widow Twankey's coming back, and that writer fellow and
the Jester ..."
"The Jester?" Iolaus interrupted him with a half-smile, which
grew into a full-blown grin as he considered this new piece of information.
"Herc!"
"What?"
"If the Jester's coming back and I'm already supposed to be dead -
then ..."
"You can't actually BE dead," Hercules finished off for him, as
comprehension dawned in his mind, too. "If one dies in one universe
the other dies in the alternate one."
"Exactly!"
"Unless that small fact has been forgotten ..."
Iolaus' grin disappeared as fast as it had arrived. "You sure know
how to burst someone's balloon," he said, grumpily.
Hercules looked somewhat puzzled. "What's a balloon?" he asked.
"Never mind." The hunter searched around for somewhere to sit,
failed to find anywhere and resumed his pacing instead. "So we have
no idea what's going to happen?"
The demigod shook his head, dejectedly. "None whatsoever. Rumours and
speculation, that's all we have. It's driving people crazy. It's driving
ME crazy."
"I think I know how you feel," said Iolaus, feelingly. Then, "So
what are we gonna do, Herc?"
"Do?"
"Yeah - 'do' - as in, how can we remedy this situation?"
"There's nothing much we CAN do."
The warrior stared at him in open-mouthed amazement. "I can't believe
I'm hearing this," he said, in a stunned voice. "Hercules, hero
of the people, doesn't know what to do to bring his best friend back! Herc
...!"
"It's breaking my heart to have you gone, Iolaus," Hercules told
him in a voice filled with anguish. "I lay beside your body for three
days, praying to any gods who would listen to bring you back. I refused
to let them take your body away from me and I turned away from the human
race because I needed you so much."
Iolaus smiled shyly. "You did?" Then, more sternly as he digested
the last part of Hercules' admission, 'You DID??"
"Yeah - I did. You mean everything to me, my friend. I don't know what
to do without you."
"Then why can't we bring me back?"
"Because we're fighting against something bigger than the Gods of Greece,
something bigger than the Gods of Sumaria, something bigger even than Dahak."
Iolaus' eyes widened. "Wow," he breathed. "What is it?"
"T.P.T.B," said Hercules. His voice was filled with awe.
Iolaus just looked even more puzzled than before. "T.P.T.B.?"
he echoed. "What's T.P.T.B.?"
"I don't know," admitted Hercules, "but they're apparently
very powerful and they can do absolutely anything to you, to me, even to
the Gods."
"And we can't do anything to stop them?"
"We could go on strike."
"What's that?"
"Stop working - sit there and refuse to do anything - till they relent
and bring you back."
"I thought you'd already done that?" asked Iolaus. "When
you refused to help mankind after I ... um ... died."
Hercules smiled ruefully. "Oh - right, yeah," he said.
"So what else can we do?"
The demigod shook his head. "I don't know, Iolaus," he replied.
"But I'm not leaving you here for good. I'll do something - anything
to get you back."
"And if you can't?"
"Then I'll join you."
"What - here? In - wherever this is?" Iolaus shook his head. "No,
Herc, you can't do that. I won't let you. You have to go to the Elysian
Fields, be with your family."
Hercules smiled and approached his friend, slinging an arm across the broad
shoulders and pulling him close. "Iolaus, I understand what you're
saying and it would hurt me not to be able to see my mother, my wife and
my children again - but, don't you know by now? YOU'RE my family. Wherever
you are, that's where I'll be. It would hurt me more to leave you and never
see YOU again. Besides, I'm not leaving you alone HERE. If I can't get you
back, then I'm coming here to join you and together we'll find a way to
get back to where we belong in the Elysian Fields. After all, we'll have
eternity and we'll be together. We can do anything together. You know what
a formidable team we are."
Iolaus smiled up at his companion. "This is true," he said. "And
I'll bet we beat the odds again, Herc. After all, we're unbeatable, right?"
"Monsters'r'us," Hercules reminded him, gently.
"Right."
"And it won't come to that," the demigod went on. There was renewed
determination in his face as he squeezed the hunter's shoulders, enjoying
for the moment the living warmth of his best friend's passion for life.
"I'm gonna get you back, Iolaus. I'm not going to rest until I do.
If that exorcism thing comes about then I'm going to hold on to you and
never let you go - and I want you to remember that and do the same. Hold
on to me and don't let go. Together we'll pull you out of this, I promise."
Iolaus nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak for the moment.
There was a long, contemplative silence, which was only broken by a the
demigod's quiet voice. "You know, there IS another rumour," he
said, slowly.
"What?" The hunter almost feared to know.
"Oh - about a day in our life," came the reply. "Its just
..."
"Just what?"
Hercules looked down at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Iolaus,
my friend - how do you feel about us taking a bath together ...?"
" ...!!!!!???"
FINIS