Disclaimer - these characters are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures and no attempt is made to infringe the copyright thereof. We are just borrowing them and will give them back at the end of the story!

A PLEA FROM WITHIN 3 - UNION


by Martine



"Friendship is constant in all other things save the office and affairs of love"
Claudio - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare


The sun had barely crested past the ridge of the horizon when Iolaus finally found the person he sought. Hercules was leaning heavily against the twisted trunk of an olive tree, legs crossed, staring into the birthing light. Flickers of sunshine played through the thin leaves, casting patterns on the ground beneath him, throwing him into shadow and glinting off the long locks that hung to his shoulders.

Iolaus stood quietly for a moment, watching his friend. He could tell from the demigod's stance that he was tense, and despite the proof he held in his hands, Iolaus too had cause to doubt the sanity of what he - *they* - were about to do. Unconsciously he fingered the parchment and remembered the words penned within, fragments already etched upon his soul, could he trust those words?

He had sat for long moments after reading his lover's response, he read it over, twice, three times, not quite believing the contents, nor the person who wrote it. One part of him wanted to rush into Hercules' arms, tear his clothes from him and eat, but another part, the sensible, cautious part, urged him to sit awhile and ponder his actions. That they craved and desired, and needed each other, there was no doubt, but their reunion may have far reaching consequences, some of which Iolaus could only speculate about. He'd set a ball in motion with his confession and he wasn't sure if he should divert its course or step into its path thereby risking being crushed under the weight of its honesty.

Part of the problem was that the past was gone, held forever behind a door in his memory. Sometimes, in the darker moments, or when he and Hercules were separated for long periods, Iolaus would grasp the handle of that door, turn the gilded key and step through the portal into the comforting memories of the love they had shared long ago. It was all too easy to become lost in those times, to rely upon the mind to give solace in the present. It wasn't right and it was no longer real, although it had been passionately real to them both - then. Recent events, however, had placed more obstacles in the pathway to that door and the warrior found himself fighting other memories, more bitter and consuming, just to reach that precious place within him. Even now, as he watched the reality, the whispers were seeping underneath the wood, beckoning him with their soothing caresses - a siren's call.

Why now? Why did he feel the need to write that message to Hercules now?

Recently Iolaus had been uneasy. His dreams were taken up with images that he couldn't *quite* recognise but his gut insisted were foreboding. One part of him was scared, and he rarely felt that emotion nowadays, healthy as it was. Another part of him was curious to find out what it all meant. Something he was sure of though; there was a storm coming and it would involve both Hercules and himself.

He had suddenly felt desperate to let his soulmate know just how much he meant to him before the approaching clouds brought lighting; and he craved him too - not that he had ever really stopped, he'd just found other outlets for his frustration, something the demigod was all too aware of. With the exception of Niobe and Nebula, two women the hunter cared deeply about, most of his encounters of a sexual nature had been with street women he had solicited, casual lovers on his travels, or men who had approached him. With the women Iolaus felt in control, the men had been another story and there had been one or two notable cases where the situation got a little out of hand, he knew his looks could be trouble. `No coin can buy me'; and he meant it.

Not since just before the demigod had met Serena, had they made love and when Iolaus used that word in context with Hercules, he meant it - not the rough bonding of two frustrated men but a coupling that went beyond the pleasures of the flesh. Neither knew why they stopped, although Iolaus had his own ideas. Both agreed, on the surface, that it was just as well, but the warrior liked to believe that, had they still been having a physical relationship, Hercules would never have taken the Hind to his bed.

When he was sick and dying from the poisoned arrow Serena shot him with, Iolaus felt the presence of his lover in his mind as always, but once he had been restored to health, the image lost focus somehow, and he felt bereft - lost. He could only liken it to standing naked in a crowd. Hercules was his cloak and he had worn him as comfortably against his skin as any silk cloth.

Was he jealous? Yes, in truth he was. He made no apologies for recognising the feeling and accepted the reality as easily as the rest of his faults, he'd tried not to show it but he knew that their relationship suffered a heavy blow the day he was forced into telling Hercules he was leaving. It wasn't the first time he had questioned the wisdom of one of his friend's decisions and it certainly wouldn't be the last time he chastised himself for his over-sensitivity. He recalled the pain in Hercules' eyes and the echo in his own, his throat silently screaming *choose me* as the fragments of time stretched to an eternity before the final acknowledgement that his lover had chosen a woman he hardly knew over a lifetime of love and friendship.

Guilt brought him back and Iolaus wondered if it was guilt that held him now, rooted to the spot, heart hammering in his chest and indecision on his lips. Gods but he loved him still.

He glanced down at his feet, scuffing his boots on the cracked earth, the comforting weight of the parchment in his hand and an increasingly *uncomfortable* feeling in his groin. He wondered which he would give in to first. As a man he knew that, as far as the needs of the treacherous body were concerned, he would be crumble in the face of his lover. He hoped he wouldn't capitulate too easily but equally was aware of the powerful influence that Hercules had on his body, even now stirring to life with thoughts of its own.

What to do.... he was so desperate. He longed to be filled with Hercules' love and everything he said in his letter was true, a plea from deep inside, but he was only a man and as such, vulnerable by comparison. How often, standing by Hercules' side, had he thought of his mortality? The truth was, not often enough. It was his unshakeable faith in his friend that led Iolaus into some of the worst situations and fights of his all-too-short life. He understood it all now, growing up in the shadow of his father, a mother who, whilst doting on him, was also scared of his father, a brief life of crime as he sought to discover his own personality and assert his manhood then the chance encounter with the son of Zeus. All of which led - to this place and time. And now his life had changed, irrevocably, all because of Hercules. But Iolaus had felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising and his heart was aching, there was danger here, but for whom and in what form?

It was his turn, his move and he didn't have the courage to take even the smallest step towards his destiny. Under normal circumstances his carefree nature would have asserted itself and his hormones more so, but this time something was stopping him.

He looked again at the man standing before him. What chance did their love have in this world? Iolaus quickly berated himself for such a cynical thought, hadn't he just written down what he truly felt? And if he was questioning his own feelings, then what of Hercules'? What did the note that he cherished for a brief moment, have to do with Hercules' *real* feelings?

He was so confused. Tired, desperate, aching, lonely and confused.

"I can't do this!"

He turned to walk away, four small words uttered in a strangled breath.

"Iolaus?"

*Oh gods, Hercules, don't do this*

"Yes."

"Where are you going?"

Hercules appeared beside him as effortlessly as a breeze. He stood directly behind the hunter, a large, warm, vibrant presence that Iolaus found hard to ignore, and even harder to resist. Iolaus shook his head.

"I..I..don't know, I just thought...well you know."

An arm, strong and muscular crept around his shoulders, pushing him back against Hercules' chest, enfolding him, just as he'd asked - *pleaded* for. Iolaus found his breath constrict as the demigod leant over him and whispered gently in his ear, barely disturbing the soft blond curls at the base of his neck. "I want to touch you, watch you harden for me, peel the hemp from your shoulders, burnish you with my tongue, part your thighs and drink."

Iolaus closed his eyes, relishing the thrumming of his lover's heart against his back, and sure enough, he hardened. Hercules' hand snaked around Iolaus' thigh and cupped him through the leather, increasing the pressure on his cock, promising so much. His lover sighed, satisfied with the effect his fingers were having. It had been a very long time.

Please, Hercules, we can't, I mean we mustn't, despite what I said. It would probably be for the best if we don't, you know, open that door up again." With great difficulty, he prised himself away from the demigod's grip.

"You're joking right?!" Shock clear in the bigger man's voice.

Iolaus bit down on a knuckle, hard, and turned to face Hercules. He could see the confusion register on the bigger man's face, that and something more. It took but seconds for the hunter to recognise those eyes - the same look - hurt; the demigod was wounded and all he had the strength to do was shake his head, almost imperceptibly and cast his eyes downward once more.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Hercules laughed, a bitter, non-comprehending laugh that cut through the awkward silence. He threw his hands up in the air and spun round, facing away from the tormenting sight of the hunter.

"I don't get it. You read my reply didn't you?" No answer. "Didn't you!?"

"Yes, of course, you must know I would. I read it. Thanks."

Hercules spun round, "Excuse me? `Thanks' You're thanking me? Iolaus, are you blind or did one of the gods just zap you again? Oh, oh, I get it. You're teasing me? You must be because that's the only explanation I'll accept right now."

Iolaus sighed, his knees suddenly felt like liquid and he sank to the earth before he fell down. Trying to hide his weakness. "You don't understand.."

"Oh you've got that right, I don't understand, should I? I mean, there you are, writing me one of the most painful and beautiful things I have EVER read in my life, echoing my feelings; things that I've felt about you for a long time and prompting me, of all people, to open myself to you completely and now, now you're telling me there's been some kind of mistake? I...I just don't get it"

He stared down at his companion. Iolaus was troubled by something and, in his usual, stubborn way, wasn't giving out any information whatsoever. Hercules found himself torn between wanting to pick the hunter up and shake him or crushing him in his arms, begging his forgiveness and urging him to make love. He settled for hunkering down next to the smaller man, not quite hiding his exasperation.

For the second time, Iolaus found a finger lifting his chin skywards but this time, as he gazed into the earnest blue eyes, it wasn't a mouth he found pressed against his lips but a question, waiting to come out, his question.

"What do you really want me beside you for?"

Hercules fell onto his backside, dropping Iolaus' chin as if he'd been burned.

Iolaus felt gutted, he'd not meant to hurt his lover, just ask him a question he'd never felt the need to know the answer of before, but now it was important, *very* important. He picked up a twig and nervously played with the fallen leaves as if he was doing nothing more than having a campside conversation. But time ticked by and no explanation was forthcoming.

He laughed: shallow, empty, as the question hung in the air between them. "You don't know do you?"

The demigod wasn't sure where all this was leading, he was more confused by his partner than he'd ever been. It was like looking at someone you'd taken for granted in a completely different light. Day after day, you lived with the person, ate with the person, fought or played with the person and one day, someone told you to describe that person before they came into the room and you looked and found that you'd got it completely wrong. That's how he felt now; the combination of the unexpected sentiments in the letter, his reaction to it and this last question and Hercules realised that Iolaus wasn't really the man he thought he knew. He was so much more, so very much more. And that's what made it hard to answer his question. What Hercules `thought' he needed Iolaus for and what he now KNEW he needed him for were two totally different things and potentially irreconcilable.

"I..I thought I'd told you."

"You told me something, here, in this." he proffered the parchment, "and it touched me, I never knew you felt that deeply - *thought* I knew but never really knew. The thing is - I'm not sure that what I asked for in my letter was, well, really what I want. I'm confused, Herc, and I wonder if you really know me or what you want from me."

Hercules' thoughts exactly.

"I am you, Iolaus. Just as you are me. And I *thought* that much we both understood. I may not say it every day you're with me but I feel it and I believed that you did too. So what's happened to change your mind?"

"You haven't answered my question, Hercules." Iolaus stared directly into the demigod's blue eyes, it was his turn to cast them to the ground, ashamed.

"I need you to be with me, by my side Iolaus,"

The hunter edged forward on his knees, and stretched out a hand to rest lightly on Hercules' muscled thigh. He begged again, his brow furrowed with worry.

"Why?"

"Have I wronged you, Iolaus?"

A sigh.

"You asked me that, and the answer is yes ... and no," he added hastily, shaking his head fervently. This wasn't good - once the floodgates were opened, there would be no stopping him from pouring out his heart and he felt foolish and weak for wanting desperately to do just that. He proceeded with all the courage he could muster.

"You've told me you love me, I've told you I love you. We both know that the word is not enough for what we feel, but neither of us can truly put a name to that part of us which binds us to one another. You've wronged me in the past, but then, dear friend, I have wronged you also. I can neither forget, nor tell you, the thoughts that have sometimes raged through my brain because of you, your actions, your family or your lovers. I would stay down on my knees and beg your forgiveness for some of the things I have said or done but I can take none of them back.

I am but a humble mortal. Sshh, don't protest, it's true. I know, Hercules, that I have a myriad of failings but simply *knowing* them makes me stronger. Try as I might, I cannot hide from what I am but I can, and I will, do my best to be worthy of you and my friends.

I have borne your temper, love, anger, distrust, laughter and denial - gratefully, simply to be counted amongst your dearest friends and once your lover. But I cannot be ignored. I am not a lap dog, I am me."

Hercules shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't quite what he had planned for the morning's activities but he was grateful to finally have this conversation with the one person most important to him in this world or the other. He felt too that it was long, long overdue but he also found something vaguely worrying that it should happen now, like there was a chasm about to open and swallow Iolaus and he couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, Iolaus was saying goodbye or atoning for things - setting the record straight between them. He shivered as the hunter continued, and Iolaus wasn't looking at him again - a bad sign.

"You told me many things last night, all I asked was for your body and for us to be together. What you haven't told me, and seem to have difficulty with expressing, is why you need me here in the first place. Of all the people in your life, Deinaeira, your children, Serena, your mother, Iphicles, Zeus even...why me, Hercules? What do I bring to your life that makes you put up with what I am, say and do?" Iolaus stared straight at Hercules, stripping him naked with his honesty. Then smiled. "I'm not asking for flattery. Goodness knows you flatter me enough when we make love, *used* to make love. What I'm trying to say is." Iolaus swallowed hard and shook his head.

"Don't stop, Iolaus. Whatever you're about to say, don't stop. I *am* listening and I DO care."

Iolaus smiled faintly. "Yeah, I know that, Herc, and I appreciate it. I just wanted to know if you would miss me when I'm gone and why. I mean I'm sure you'll *miss* me, but will you know what the emptiness is for?"

Hercules felt like that yawning, gaping chasm had just opened wider than an ocean and pulled him into its jaws. He sat bolt upright and faced his beloved friend, trying to read the unreadable in the other man's features.

"Where are you going?" He grabbed Iolaus' hands, a little too harshly. "You're not ill, are you?" His voice took on a frail quality that the hunter recognised from when Alcmene was dying.

Iolaus grasped Hercules firmly back and shook his head. "On my honour, Hercules, I am neither dying, nor do I intend to go anywhere. For now anyway."

That brought a shaft of colour back to the demigod's face which was pale with worry. "So why this? Why the questions and the desperate letters. I know you too well my, friend, something isn't right here and you have to tell me what it is."

At that, Iolaus pulled away completely, rose to his feet and turned his back on his prone partner. It took him a few moments before he spoke, and then he did so with deliberate care, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. In that few moments lives were created, people died, made love and gave birth, flowers opened to the sunlight and deer suckled their young - but for now, life took on a surreal quality and Iolaus felt no part of it - things were changing.

"I think there's something bad coming, Herc."

Tell him, tell him all of it.

"Throughout my life I've been pretty content to be with you, whatever happened, no matter our differences or quarrels. It feels right to be by your side and I worship you, as it's clear you do me. But this time, something's different somehow and I feel my life is slipping away from me and I need to know some answers.

When you went to Olympus to become a god, I neither ate, nor slept for a time. Jason knew and said nothing. He simply left me to my own thoughts, reassuring me that it was one of the hardest decisions you had to make - leaving me to be with your father. In that time I felt damned, unwanted, useless and alone. Okay, I know what you'd say and I'd agree - I do have other friends, I'm not useless (Zeus knows we've been through that one before), can happily make a living for myself and by no means damned - well, not *yet* anyway but at the time those things meant nothing to me! Then you came back and I rejoiced, I don't think I've ever been happier than I was on that day; the day you told me I was your family; all of it."

He tried to raise a half-hearted smile as he turned to the demigod but it died before being born when he saw the look of seriousness on Hercules' face and he faltered. He continued with difficulty "One half of me was gone, Hercules. I can't say the better half because I genuinely don't know, but I was dysfunctional and that scared the shit out of me. That wasn't the first time I'd had cause to wonder what you really felt about me, about our partnership and love. I can see I don't need to remind you of those times, but you might want me to remind you of the times when I had done a similar thing to you. The guilt is not to be shouldered by you alone, I'm as much to blame for the times we were apart. But you see, those times weren't real. They were an interlude, seemingly genuine while it lasted but we both know that what we have is stronger and deeper than any of those other relationships. And I *don't know why*. I don't need some long, overblown analysis of what it is, I just want to know what you want from me. How come I'm special? Could you find a bond somewhere else as deep? With the tide turning and this burning thought that things are going to change soon, I want to finally know from your own lips what it means to walk beside me. Will you rekindle the spark we had, tell me how you want me and reassure me that you will go on, hero or no hero, when I'm gone? You see, on top of everything else, I couldn't bear it if you cracked. You're more precious to me than my own life and if I am to be tortured or driven out of your presence I *have* to have something to hang onto. I have to...or I'll never...."

His voice broke, the effort of speaking so frankly too much for him to bear. As before, he found himself embraced, Hercules' long arms entwined about him, comforting him, hands gently stroking his exposed skin. Hercules kissed him gently on the head. Iolaus didn't cry, but he was damned close to it. He just didn't know why he was feeling so bad, couldn't put a finger on the reason, nor could he stop it. He simply leaned his head back against the firm chest behind him as his lover spoke. This was his home - and he was going to lose it.

"Making love or telling you I adore you isn't enough, you are your own person, Iolaus. But finding the words to express what you have meant to me and mean to me still, isn't easy either, especially for me. You said you had neither the wit nor the patience to write me poetry, so don't expect me to come up with any now. I'm a simple guy, Iolaus, I don't need to tell you that. My life has been complicated by my birthright and you, my dear, beloved friend, have been dealt the fateful hand that keeps you by my side. How often have I urged you to go, leave me to my fate and the fates the gods decree? And yet you will never know how often I have thanked the father that created me for the times that you have remained. I'm worried about the storm you think is approaching and Zeus knows I've had cause in the past to rely upon your intuition and gut feelings, my friend. You have been and will remain, the biggest, most important part of my life. How can I express that? I can't detail the times that you have brought me joy, eased my suffering, covered my back, comforted me or given me wisdom to continue when all others have failed me. I can't tell you how much it hurts me to see others ignore you or push you behind me in a crowd. I am NOT the man they want me to be. Hercules the hero, the brave, the constant. Well the truth is that without Iolaus, Hercules is nothing. A shell. Without out you I have failed too, for what is life if we cannot care for and love the most precious things in it? I've hated myself at times. I've teased you, made fun of you, fought you, bullied you and cajoled you. I've gotten you, us, into more scrapes than I can ever say sorry for because I've been pig-headed instead of listening to your caution and your wisdom. You've nearly been killed and have died, all because of me. I think you know, as I know, how jealous we have been of one another's lovers and wives. But I don't think you'd be surprised if I said that every night I made love to my wife, you were there, with me - sometimes, Zeus forgive me, beneath me. I know that she felt it too but she also knew that her place in my heart was secure as is yours. We haven't spoken much about Serena but you're right about it being a turning point in our relationship. Guilt, Iolaus, guilt was the deciding factor in my stopping our having sex. At the time, I was beginning to feel doubt about what I was using you for (so you're right to question me). I sated my lust on your body and took for granted that you were with me in all things and I never once questioned what you might want out of this. So I gave you an out. Do you remember the night I took you against your will?"

Iolaus flinched, then squared his shoulders, stretching his spine to make himself a fraction taller, he needed that extra inch to hear this and Hercules unconsciously moved away, knowing what the hunter must be feeling, no, he corrected, he could surmise what Iolaus *might* be thinking but having never been in the situation he foisted upon his friend, he couldn't claim to know at all. For his part, Iolaus remembered precisely which night he was talking about. He'd felt sick for weeks afterwards and his body was covered with bites, bruises and scratches that were difficult to cover up, especially with his normal attire, he took to wearing a light shirt instead of his trademark vest and people nodded and whispered, just like they always did when anything out of the ordinary happened between him and Hercules. They were the nearest things in their home town to celebrities. Then he had walked behind the demigod, or in front of him or as far away from him as possible - but not beside him, even Hercules couldn't ask that of him.

They'd never once spoken about the incident because Iolaus knew that Hercules' desperation was born of despair and he couldn't entirely blame his friend. He'd hurt him sure enough but Iolaus was burdened with his own guilt regarding Xena at that time so he was hardly in a position to break more stones in the foundation of their friendship.

"I looked at you that night, perfection under the glow of a candle, and wanted nothing more than to bury myself in you. You were the only thing helping me stay sane and the ache for you was like bathing in lava, burning acid into my bones, eating me away. I still remember the smell of you to this day, the salt from the ocean spray combined with the musk of your sweat. I could see the curve of your cock outlined under the linen as it draped between your legs and your beautiful chest rising steadily, droplets of moisture beaded in your sternum. And I simply had to join with you. You were apart from me, don't you see? I didn't want you to be apart from me. I'm ashamed for what I did but to be bonded to you is all the pleasure I have in this life. I think I wanted to get inside you, curl myself around your precious heart and stay, safe and warm."

Iolaus took a second to try and lighten the mood, turning within the circle of his gaze he looked up into the tormented face. "Well, you did a damn good job of trying to get inside me, love, you damn near stripped the skin off me." But Hercules didn't laugh, if anything, that only made him feel worse.

It was Iolaus' turn to comfort, he crossed to him and kissed Hercules full on the down-turned lips. "Hey, hey, don't worry about it. It's forgotten. Besides, I like it when you're rough. I just kinda like it when it's mutual though too! Don't forget that I've given myself freely to you, you know that, Herc. I'm not exactly going to blame you for it. What worries me more is that the fact that what you're telling me is that, when - should anything happen to me, that you're going to find it hard to go on without me. Isn't that right?" He was still looking up into the demigod's eyes and for a fraction of a second saw a darkness sweep across them that shook him to the core.

"I may go mad, Iolaus. I fear for my sanity."

Iolaus pulled himself back out of the strong grip and ran small hands through his blond curls. He shook his head repeatedly, denying what Hercules had just told him.

"That's ridiculous! You..you're a demigod - demigod's don't go nuts. Oh Iolaus, what are you saying, his relatives are all nuts! But, Herc, you're too strong for that, you survived so much. I died once and you survived that - as well as your poor family, Serena, Alcmene - everything, so why would my leaving be any different? Nah - I refuse to believe it, you're far too, too, sensible for that!" But he was still shaking his head, he didn't quite believe what he'd just said either, which made it worse.

"Thanks, Iolaus, your faith in me is a poultice, even if I can see you don't quite believe it yourself my friend. You've seen me do crazy things before and you've always been there to pull me back from the brink, just as I have when you've used that hot head of yours to no good." Hercules stared at the backs of his hands, lost in thought. "Do you think this is the work of my family?"

"What?"

"These, these visions, or whatever they are."

Iolaus sighed and rubbed the slight blond stubble that covered his chiselled jaw. "I, I honestly don't know, Herc. I don't think so. It's kinda *otherwordly* if you know what I mean - there's nothing in my dreams that I recognise - just this emptiness and a feeling of drowning. Most of all I get the strong impression that time's running out and that our friendship will be caught in between. It's not pleasant and it's plaguing me."

"So why didn't you come to me with this before? Maybe I can help you - or you could go see someone."

Iolaus laughed "Oh yeah, like who? The Oracle at Delphi? There's nothing there to interpret. Just a feeling. It's kinda like when I was hit with lighting - then I could see the future but this time, I can't see it, change or escape it, and I can't run from something I don't understand or recognise. You know me buddy, I'm normally willing to face most things but this has me shaken to my boots. That's why I need to have your reassurance. No matter what happens - you must survive and you must believe in me; for all that we have been to each other and mean now. Trust me, Hercules - no matter what people say about me when I'm gone - I love you with all my heart, my body and my soul and I would never willingly do anything to harm you or anyone close to me." Iolaus opened wide his eyes, tears glistening in the corner of each, and such an achingly painful expression on his face that Hercules found himself mirroring those tears.

"I would rather die, Hercules, than fail you."

That was all the demigod could stand, he rushed to embrace his love and they held each other, neither giving voice to their emotions but the salty drops fell silently, creating small, damp pools of guilt and sadness.

"Me too, Iolaus, believe me."

Hercules' heart was beating faster. He wished that time could stand still, protect them both in this embrace and never let them go. In this wood, with the sun warming their backs and the sound of birdsong and insects accompanying their grief, he almost wanted to die - with his only true friend, if only to avoid what Iolaus saw in the future. He had no idea how soon these things would come to pass but the conviction in his lover's voice was enough for the demigod to know that it would, and as the days marched on, they would watch over their shoulders. Doom, with its foul breath and evil laughter, would catch up with them as sure as the day brings growth, and they would be but pawns in the play, but Hercules wouldn't give up without a fight, that he swore. It was down to Hercules now to show Iolaus that he would be as brave, would try, no matter what, to do as his beloved had asked. Inside, even the heroic Hercules was a coward, he knew the loss of Iolaus was something he would not be able to take lightly, his grief would drive him mad. He couldn't tell Iolaus that, would not, he would simply offer himself and make promise to try.

He was also acutely aware that he had never really answered Iolaus' question.

Minutes passed, then fragments of hours then an hour and they still held each other. The day was blossoming into perfection, the sky a rare blue that no painter could ever hope to match, no canvas capture, the smells of olives, almonds, and fresh loam fed them as they relaxed, standing, braced against each other's chest - force meeting calculated force to balance them perfectly on a pivot of trust.

The sound of a blackbird singing in a nearby bush, caught Hercules' attention first and he reluctantly opened his eyes and smiled, Iolaus was breathing deeply as he gripped the demigod more firmly, as if plumping a feather pillow on which he slept, he wrinkled his nose.

"Iolaus?"

Another wrinkle.

"Iolaus, come on - wake up."

"Whah?" One second of drowsiness, two seconds of confusion and a third of falling. Hercules caught him.

"Er...how?"

"I think we just fell asleep, I don't know for how long but the sun's not that high, half an hour maybe. I'm as amazed as you are. Are you hungry?"

"Nah. I'm not too sure what I am to be honest." He stood up and pulled down his vest, self-consciously, the seriousness of their conversation still weighing heavily on his mind. "I need a drink though. I'll go and get something. Do you want anything?"

"No, no, I'll be fine. Do you want me to come back there or shall I wait for you here? I assume you are coming back to me? I want to continue last night's `conversation'. If we're going to have a fight on our hands I want to make the most of this moment."

He smiled, a knowing smile. Iolaus caught the look, saw the immeasurable love there, grinned gently and replied in kind as a warmth coursed through his body, making him feel better than he had for days. He was talked out - if Hercules didn't understand what he was trying to say then he had no other way of putting it. Trust - he had to trust the demigod, that's what it always boiled down to in their relationship and he only hoped that in the coming darkness, Hercules would trust him too.

The hunter mentally shook himself and eased across his countenance the familiar mask of humour that was as much a part of his armoury as his sword. And if nothing else, he was desperate to have sex with his lover and thinking about the future wasn't going to help his libido one little bit.

"I think I can manage to bring a few things back here, don't you? I mean, how heavy can a couple of blankets and a vial or two be? Oh yes, and that nice, rough ale I found at the last tavern."

"Iolaus, you can't mean to get drunk on me? What about er....?"

Iolaus laughed and looked down to where the demigod had pointed. He'd genuinely not realised that he had a hard on. Well that was a first, he was normally well aware of how his body felt around Hercules so it surprised him to think that he'd not even noticed.

"Oh" he blushed. "Er, maybe just some bread and cheese then. For strength. I er, have a feeling I'm going to need it."

Hercules licked his lips. "Hurry back. If this problem's not going to go away easily, I want to make sure that I help *that* one," he nodded at Iolaus' erection, "go at least."

Iolaus gulped and flushed deeper "Ah, yuh. I'll ah...be back as quickly as I can. Um, just hold that thought okay!?" With that he turned and raced away into the undergrowth, the sound of bushes thwacking his body as he bulldozed them almost as comforting to the demigod as the occasional squeal when one hit him in the face.

The son of Zeus laughed and decided to make things a little more comfortable in their chosen spot. He lovingly cleared away any stones or leaves that lay under the tree where they would make their bed and took his shirt off in readiness. He was about to strip himself when he wondered if Iolaus would prefer to do that. Just thinking about the possibilities had made his throat go dry. He would leave them on.

Hercules was just beginning to wonder what had happened to the hunter when he suddenly appeared from the direction he had disappeared, walking slowly and, Hercules noted to his distress, much less enthusiastically - Iolaus had obviously been thinking along the way. He was carrying all their gear having decided to move camp to their present location. It was only about twenty minutes walk but there was so little there it was hardly worth leaving, besides which, the hunter had no idea how long they would be at their present location and was loathe to leave his sword and pack behind.

The demigod rushed to alleviate his burden but Iolaus shrugged him off. "It's okay, I can manage. Thanks."

"Why didn't you leave the stuff, we could have gone back for it."

"Hardly seemed worth it. It wasn't heavy so you don't have to apologise, I'm quite capable of carrying things." He saw the look that crossed his friend's face and added "Sorry, that was uncalled for. I, I guess I'm still not sure of this. Some buddy I am huh, mentally bouncing around like one of those kid's toys!"

Hercules nodded but said nothing, he simply grabbed one of the packs as Iolaus dropped it and rummaged inside for the blankets. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Iolaus shiver and turn pale.

"Look, Iolaus, if this isn't what you want, then let's not do this right now. But you have to say so soon because I don't think I can stop once I've started and believe me I want to start now."

The blond was staring at the ground under the tree, the ground that Hercules had prepared for their union. Something in his mind made it look like a sacrificial altar and he took a step backwards, colliding neatly with a rock behind him.

Hercules thumped his own leg and grit his teeth in frustration. "What gives? You're as nervous as a virgin on his wedding night. Is there something else you're not telling me?"

Iolaus shook himself out of it and took one end of the blanket that the demigod was unfolding before laying it on the altar, on the *ground* he corrected mentally. "'S 'kay Herc, nothing to worry about, I'm just thinking about things."

"Well buddy, for a guy who's always putting himself down, you sure do a heckuva lot of thinking. Did you bring the food?"

Iolaus didn't answer and Hercules tried his best to ignore the mounting panic he could see in his lover's eyes. He found himself questioning whether or not he could do this himself and that *wasn't* a good sign. It had been so long since the two of them had slept together that he'd been dreaming about this for months. He'd often find himself awake in the early hours of the morning, watching Iolaus as he slept fitfully across from the fire, and he would slip a hand under the blankets, thinking about that sensual mouth, tongue sliding up and down his cock, the touch of his smooth chest against his rougher one, the tiny beaded nipples that caused so much exquisite agony and pleasure, or the hot warmth of Iolaus' body as he thrust into him and the throaty gasps as they completed their union. On those nights it took all the demigod's strength not to shout out as he sought relief the only way he knew how. He was just grateful that Iolaus was a fairly heavy sleeper as it gave him time to clean himself up before the hunter awoke.

What could he do? He needed to be with Iolaus now and was terrified that he would, after all that had been said, and written, allow this second chance to slip through his grasp. Well, he wouldn't let go without a fight and if that meant stripping his soul raw and bearing it to Iolaus on his knees, then so be it. This was a battle that he was well equipped to handle, for the kingdom he sought to win was the home of this man's heart and no sovereign would be richer than the man who gained that prize.

Iolaus finally answered. "I'm not hungry now." He noticed Hercules' state of undress and suppressed a groan, whether of delight or despair, Hercules wasn't sure.

"I hope you are for something my love." Hercules chided, thinking of those cold nights alone.

They placed the rough cloth on the ground and lay the other on top. With their packs as pillows it made as serviceable a bed as any.

Then, as if Iolaus had finally made up his mind with that last sentence, he slowly divested himself of boots and clothing, the final garment dropping insolently to the earth, his naked body displayed like the godly offering it was, the tiny goosebumps that covered him the only sign of his continued nervousness. Iolaus threw his head back and hurled a challenge to his staring lover. "Kiss me, Hercules."

The demigod picked up the mental gauntlet and all the aching, all the torment and loneliness rushed headlong into one black moment as Hercules lifted his lover off his feet and deposited him back against the blankets, kissing him, possessing his mouth and forcing his tongue between perfect white teeth. He sucked for what seemed like ages on Iolaus' tongue until they were both breathless from need. No woman could give him this.

Hercules straddled the blond, pushing himself on top and in between Iolaus' legs until the hunter stretched them to accommodate the bigger man, his filling cock grinding against the leather clad muscle of the son of Zeus.

Iolaus urged his lover to lean closer to his lips and a wicked smiled played around his mouth as he whispered softly. "You know, if you're gonna stay like that it's going to be Tartarus trying to enter me! Fucking my arse is going to be difficult enough after all this time without your damned waffle trousers in the way."

Hercules looked confused, his mind slipping into automatic as his body started to take over, hands everywhere.

"Hercules - get off and get them off. Talk about desperate, I thought I was bad!" His small hands reached down between them, brushing past his groin to reach the demigod's belts. Hercules meanwhile was sucking along every tiny portion of Iolaus' clavicles, licking the bone like a dog and grinding his hips against the muscled body of his lover. He was almost on the brink of climaxing then and there and it was only when he felt his cock being roughly squeezed that he gave a yelp and came back to himself.

"Hey, what was that for?" he said, staring at the mischievous blond beneath him.

"Oh finally he answers! I could have been yelling and you wouldn't have heard me. Now would you mind getting those trousers off before I get leather burns?"

The quizzical look eventually left the demigod's face as he realised what Iolaus was talking about. "Ah - sorry, Iolaus. I sort of thought you might get them off me, I wasn't thinking."

"Sure you were, Herc. Your cock was thinking how quickly you could get this over with. Now me, I on the other hand prefer to concentrate on building up to the moment. Do you realise how long I've waited for this? I am NOT about to let you spoil it by coming faster than a schoolboy. Lean up a moment."

Hercules obliged, kneeling between Iolaus' spread thighs and watching the muscles dancing under his weather-tanned skin, flesh creasing as the hunter bent double and carefully eased both pants and breechclout from the demigod's hips and over his rounded buttocks to sit wrapped around his legs. The blond's pupils dilated and he licked his lips as his lover deliberately and gracefully stood to reveal his blossoming erection and, removing his footwear, slid the offending material from his body. Hercules looked from trousers, to Iolaus and back again as if he was unsure what to do next.

"Oh for Zeus' sake, Herc - just throw them away! Unless you're planning to do something incredibly hot with them, in which case take pity on me and get on with it. This is the first time for ages I've stopped thinking with my head and started thinking with my body - don't make me stop now, if you love me - get on with it."

Hercules laughed and tossed the clothing over his shoulder. Now completely nude, he felt passion of a different nature pouring out towards the man looking up at him. Iolaus was so beautiful. Not the classic beauty that his father saw in Ganymede, nor the harsh, handsome features of Apollo, but a combination of all those things and more. Here before him was a mortal who in his own way was breathtaking; a perfect, well toned body, soft hair the colour of wheat, blue eyes to shame the sea, thin, sensual lips that could exquisitely suck the life or semen from you, legs so strong they could ride the largest of horses or the roughest of men, thighs with skin so silken that maidens wept for the feel of them, and a large, well defined cock and balls surrounded by golden curls, that no sculptor would dare match for fear no one would believe their divinity. Add to that wide shoulders, a broad, well-muscled back that rippled independantly of thought, hard brown budded nipples, a dip and curve of buttocks that fit perfectly into the demigod's groin and the most delicate of hands that could both maim and please and you had a creature born of Olympus.

And for now, it all belonged to Hercules. *He* belonged to Hercules. And Iolaus knew it. The love that poured from his lapis-coloured eyes, matched only by the aching of his heart, told the chestnut-haired man all he needed to know for now. It was time to break down that door once more and let a little light back into their lives, for if the candle was to be snuffed they could at least make the heat so strong that the tallow melted and their lovemaking would fuel the hottest of fires.

Hercules knelt before the altar to begin his worship. Iolaus lay waiting on that altar with the weight of future knowledge preying on his mind, knowledge that, without such a friend as Hercules, would have driven him over the edge. For as they began to make love, he silently admitted that he knew what the nightmares would bring, he saw himself entombed and the look of betrayal on his lover's face, but for now, he belonged there, lying on his back feasting and being dined upon - and he relished it.

"Hercules, I am so sorry." A solitary tear escaped him, even as Hercules stroked and prepared his body, pearls seeping, sweat oozing.

Iolaus cried out softly as the weight of his lover's body pressed him into the ground and the hardness pushed into his arse, both of them so slick with juices that little else was needed to aid in their joining.

"Sssh, Iolaus, this is what I want."

Hercules soothed and crooned and encouraged but the demigod didn't understand and as Iolaus feared, the traitor called lust took care of the rest.

After his first orgasm jetted from him, the hunter knew he wanted this too, it was his insurance, protection against the sunless world awaiting him, he cradled the pulsating body against his own and rode the shaft of light until exhausted, and still he carried on, determined to stretch the moments of his temporary salvation by giving himself to Hercules' thrusts.

They made love countless times, roughly and perfectly but eventually it hurt; his back, groin, abdomen, thighs and buttocks covered with flecks of cold semen, the demigod's last offering lay wasted against his lips, flakes drying in his sun-kissed hair as he suckled the warm cock one last time. No more could he give, he had taken much and when the demigod shouted and poured himself down Iolaus' raw throat, they both knew it was time to stop pretending.

It seemed as though hours had past. They lay curled around one another, face to chest, every curve nestled perfectly against its mate. One of Hercules' hands wrapped itself possessively on the hunter's groin, fingers playing with the crispy hair covering the bountiful pleasure, his other arm was around Iolaus' shoulder, even now going dead with the blond's strong weight upon it. He stared once more at the miracle beside him and saw the depth of Iolaus' despair, despite his former arousal, all too clearly on his fine face. Furrows ravaged a normally smooth forehead, even in his drowsy dozing and wet hair lay plastered against it, unable to hide the full horror of understanding.

Iolaus' hand unconsciously moved against the demigod's curvaceous arse, sending spikes of ecstasy to Hercules' athletic cock. He pulled the blond in tighter to his body and felt Iolaus' stiffen at the move. Salty lips touched salty lips and bit down gently. Iolaus awoke with a gasp and pushed against his lover's chest.

"Need to breathe..." Hercules reluctantly let go, silently relieved to get some feeling back into his aching limb, even if he felt bereft when the warmth of his lover's body left him.

Iolaus pointed at his partner's increasing erection.

"Thanks. But I don't think I can do this any more."

"Any more what, Iolaus?"

"Sex. No more sex at the moment, my arse is killing me and other parts of my anatomy are red raw."

Hercules laughed and flicked the tip of his shaft wickedly, tipping a small amount of pre-cum onto his fingernail before licking it off suggestively. "Oh, that! Did the earth move for you, my love?"

Iolaus looked shocked and grabbed his butt. "Move? Have you felt the state of the ground beneath us? I reckon a few more thrusts and we would have been in Tartarus. Either that or you would have fucked me to death, in which case I would have killed you for it and we would *both* have been in Tartarus! There are craters back there that would swallow a volcano and I'm not talking about in the ground! "

Unfortunately, the words only served as a reminder of their lovemaking and made the blood rush straight to Iolaus' own penis, stirring it back into reluctant life to match his mate's. He slapped it desperately trying to stop the inevitable from happening. "Uh oh. Sometimes Hercules I wish your father had made us more like women. I don't see them sporting one of these every time they think of ....of.....well, let's just say it's unfair."

Hercules rolled over onto his stomach, exposing the mounds of his arse and picked at some stray strands of grass just peeking out from the edge of the blanket they lay on. He pulled a piece before rolling it between his teeth, sucking the sweet liquid from the end and chewing on the cud. He picked another strand and ran his tongue gently up and down the stem. Leaning upon one arm, Iolaus' ringside view of his lover's backside was doing him no good whatsoever, neither was the implication of lips on grass.

"Aw Herc, stop it will ya? Cover yourself up or something, I can't do this any more....I'm thirsty and hungry and I need to piss and you're making it hard for me."

Hercules looked around at the exhausted man next to him then deliberately checked his lap, smiling seductively. "I certainly hope I am making it *hard* for you, Iolaus. I'm not the one who started all this remember? If you don't like the view, turn over."

Iolaus groaned and flopped back onto the blanket, staring up at the clouds as they lazily drifted across the sky on he-knew-not-what errands. Two birds circled each other high up in the air, dancing in flight and drifting on the thermals created by the sun. They looked happy, those birds, simply flying wherever the fancy took them, catching prey on the wing supposedly before retreating to their nests and basking on the open mountain tops. He envied them their freedom and longed for release. Not the kind that Hercules had in mind, the insatiable bonding of mate with mate, but a release of the soul, the worries and troubles that he carried, as heavy as any material baggage and ten times more difficult to discard.

If only he could fly.

A hand touched his face and a shadow blocked out the sun, the clouds and the envied birds. Hair tickled his neck and face as the shadow leaned in and he felt possessed once again. `My destiny,' he thought, `My love, my rock and my anchor.'

"My love." he said instead.

And he kissed the shadow back, felt a rough tongue laving his peaked nipples and digits foraging his copse of hair and ravaged entrance.

The shadow that was Hercules, spoke "Only if you want this, Iolaus. If being beside me means this, amongst other things, will you stay? I offered you my body once, my soul you always possess, and here again do I pledge you every part of me, hear my plea now. I need you beside me because....."

But his words were eaten from his mouth as the unsullied perfection trembling against his flesh pulled them and himself into his body and despite their tiredness, the need to be one, in each other's skins, outweighed any thought of sleep.

High above them the birds gamboled and watched the strangers with beady black pupils that see not as we see, but in a bird's eye view, and didn't understand the scene being played out far below. For who but our heroes could understand what this meant to them, and even they didn't know how very important it was for the balance of the world to have this partnership intact.

But just across the ridge, away from the beauty of their chosen trysting place, tall thunderhead clouds of grey and black billowed and built and began to move towards them.

 

The end .....


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