Welcome to the first (the Very First) Slutties Awards. These are given to the 'slash' writers of HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS for excellence in writing, evocative images and just plain old because we wanted to and because it seemed like a good idea at the time!
So, without further ado, let's on with the show!
MOST APT DESCRIPTION OF A CERTAIN PORTION OF OUR GOLDEN WARRIOR'S ANATOMY - 'Just This Once'
BEST APPEARANCE BY NEBULA - 'Debt Repaid'
BEST USE OF AUTOLYCUS - 'The Lure'
BEST STORY FEATURING ARES - 'Nine Tenths of the Law'
BEST STORY FEATURING HEPHAESTUS - 'Possessions'
SWEETEST APOLLO STORY - 'Gifts'
BEST STORY FEATURING XENA - 'Measure of a Man'
BEST USE OF JOXER - 'Hercules Loves Who'?
BEST DIOMEDES STORY - 'Battle Lines'
BEST STORY FEATURING 'SOVEREIGN' - 'Lightning'
MOST INTERESTING USE OF A GRANDMOTHER - 'Possessions'
FUNNIEST APHRODITE STORY - 'Immersion'
MOST INTRIGUING USE OF CUPID - 'Genesis'
BEST HERCULES' FANTASY - 'The Barn'
BEST USE OF A SLEEPING IOLAUS - 'The Fishing Trip'
BEST USE OF HERC'S SHIRT - 'Truths'
MOST INTERESTING PROP - Bamboo Cage in 'Homecoming'
MOST INVENTIVE USE OF A NIPPLE - 'Homecoming'
BEST FIRESIDE SCENE (OUTDOORS) - 'Golden Treasures'
BEST USE OF A PIECE OF WOOD - (deferred due to ethical reasons)
BEST USE OF BAMBOO - 'Homecoming'
TIDIEST BED - 'The Bed'
BEST BAD GUY - Ares/Strife in 'Nine Tenths of the Law'
BEST GOOD GUY (not H/I) - Diomedes - Battle Lines/Apollo - Gifts/Nine Tenths/Libations
BEST 'SLASH' STORY SANS SEX SCENES - 'Herc & Iolaus story'
BEST STORY AS FOLLOW UP TO 'ONLY SORROWS' (deferred due to ethical reasons)
SCENE MOST LIABLE TO RENDER READER TO A STATE OF SLATHERING - Fireside Scene ('Possessions')
MOST POTENT IMAGE OF A NAKED HUNTER - 'Claimed'
MOST EVOCATIVE LOVEMAKING SCENE - 'Claimed'
DESCRIPTION MOST LIABLE TO RENDER READER INSENSIBLE (OR AT THE VERY LEAST IN NEED OF A VERY COLD SHOWER!) - 'Homecoming' (all of it!!!)
BEST HUMOUR IN A 'SLASH' STORY - 'Truths'
BEST UNFINISHED STORY - 'Whom the Gods ...'
MOST EROTIC STORY - 'Homecoming' (without a doubt!)
MOST EROTIC DESCRIPTION OF IOLAUS'S HAIR (!) - 'Mazes'
MOST NATURAL CRYING SCENE - Iolaus & Xena ('Measure of a Man')
WETTEST PLACE FOR A COUPLING(!) - 'Immersion'
BEST STORY MENTIONING THE MINOTAUR - 'Mazes'
BEST APPEARANCE BY A LOG (among other - erm more interesting things!) - 'The Reward'
BEST OVERALL - there weren't any overalls because they didn't wear them in ancient Greece, then again, this isn't exactly 'ancient Greece' we're discussing, here! Okay, one of the judges loved 'Nine Tenths', because it was so well executed (and so Ares should be!), and also 'Measure of a Man' due to its evocative nature. She also put forward a strong case for 'Truths', 'Claimed' and 'Homecoming', not to mention several others. The other judge claimed that 'Possessions' was worthy of the award, together with 'Golden Treasures' and 'the Bed', but in the end, it was decided that there will be no overall winner due to the sheer quality and diversity of the work submitted and the fact that, having been forced to read and re-read them (purely for research purposes, you understand!), the judges were far too exhausted and sated to even care!
We hope you enjoyed the Quarterly 'Slutties' awards. We would like to offer our grateful thanks to all those talented, brilliant authors whose awe-inspiring works in the 'Slash' Fiction field (specifically H:TLJ), prompted us to initiate them. Without you, we would be nothing (less than nothing, a mere speck on the distant horizon, awaiting the first spark of inspiration to initiate our growth and make us blossom ... um, sorry, getting carried away, there!). We would also extend our grateful thanks to our presenters tonight, Autolycus, Salmoneus (sorry, you didn't actually WIN an award, Sally!), Joxer, Xena, Gabrielle (again, better luck next time, Gabby!), Aphrodite, Athena, Cupid, Hephaestus, Leandra, and, of course, our favourite slash duo, Hercules, and our golden warrior, Iolaus. Thanks, guys, we really COULDN'T have done this without you!
All that remains now is to say what a Pleasure it has been (oh boy, you have no idea of the pleasure!!), to us to award these small trophies to wish each and every one of you the best that life and slash fiction has to offer and leave you with the hope that we see many, many more of these events through the coming (!) year, so, writers, get working towards the next Quarterly Slutties!
Most of the above stories can be located on the following pages:
*The Hercules TLJ Slash Fiction Archive